Checking In

Well, I didn't exercise last night nor do I intend to tonight as I am pretty tired. Michaels weekend is over :< I love having him home and hate when he has to leave us every day. However, we are extremely blessed that he works from 4-1 so that he is home to spend time with us in the afternoon and evening. Sam is doing extremely well. He is such a chunk. Yesterday at church a 6 year old boy came over and attempted to play with him. He looked at me after a couple minutes and said, "He's fat. But it's okay, I was too. I was fatter than he is." SO FUNNY!! It's so true too. I love how much meat he has on his bones. I attempted to weigh him the other day by holding him on the scale and it said about 25-26 lbs. Not sure how accurate that is so I'm really wanting to call the doctor and see if I can take him in just to be weighed. He is 8 months old and so close to crawling. I know he'll get it soon and then I'm in trouble. I was making dinner tonight and he so badly wanted me to hold him and kept crying and trying to get to me. When he is able to crawl to me in the kitchen I'm going to have to think of some creative way to keep him out...baby gate perhaps or maybe we'll just put up the playpen?? Some friends from church just had their first baby. It reminded me of the excitement of going ot the hospital knowing that within a few short hours (and yes, they do go by quickly) I would be able to look at the sweet baby that had been growing for the past 9 months. It also made me want another baby. However, I was reminded of the reality of having one needy baby within just a couple of days and couldn't imagine having two. I look forward to one day having another baby but I think I am just going to enjoy each and every moment of just having one and being able to get plenty of sleep (not that I get enough right now but I can only imagine how much worse it gets once you have two). Also, I think Sam is listening closely to everything the doctor's say. At every appointment the doctor asks if his is doing something specifically (this last time it was if he is becoming more of a mama's boy) and the answer is usually, "no not right now." However, within a few weeks if not days, he is doing exactly that. While cooking today, all he wanted was me. He was so fussy until I finally sat down with him while I was eating. He just loves to spend time with mommy. Michael got to rock him to sleep tonight which was a huge help to me and a wonderful bonding time for them. I am so glad that Michael is so much a part of Sam's life. I can't imagine having him be any other way. I praise the Lord for the family he has blessed me with daily.

Getting in Shape

Okay, so when I got pregnant I was told that normal weight gain is about 20-25 lbs. since I was already in a normal weight range. However, I gained about 43. After delivering Sam and finding out that he only weighed 5lbs 14ozs, the first thing my midwife said was, "Well, you've got a lot to lose." Haha. I lost is surprisingly fast or at least looked like I did but I'm still not quite what I was at (I'm currently at about 148). Plus, I am still about 15-20lbs over ideal. It's so hard to lose those last few. It takes such commitment to lose weight. Weight has always been a struggle for me. I remember the first time I worried about my weight was in 7th grade when my science teacher (a man) had all of the students in class get in groups and write down their weight on a piece of paper for everyone to see (I don't remember what it was for). I was 130lbs. I remember looking at other girls and only one was at my weight. By the time I hit 9th grade I was at 150. I continued a slow gain throughout high school and by the time I hit my second year in college I peaked at 175. My ideal weight is between 120-135 (I think...at least that is what I have seen from the calculators online). I really tried to lose weight while in HS but never kept with it. I LOVE FOOD!! I think that is truly one of my biggest problems. I really got serious about exercise and changing my eating habits in 2003. I got down to 127lbs. I loved that I could FINALLY go clothes shopping and wear the cute clothes then never looked good on me before. I worked hard at eating right and not a ton. I remember being hungry but never starved. Obviously once I started at Multnomah I didn't continue my workout regime although I still ate pretty well. I slowly gained back about 10 or 15 lbs. and have stayed right in there over the last several years. I really want to drop the weight back off. So, I am starting to exercise again. Last night I did some yoga and tonight I did some circuit training. I feel so warm and sticky and I never realized just how difficult yoga actually is. I almost gave up 5 minutes in but knew that if I could just get through this first workout tomorrow would be easier. So, tonight was night two and I feel so good to have gotten through. My legs and arms feel like jello and I'm sticking to my parents leather couch. But, I feel so good. Now it's time to work on my will power not to snack on unhealthy candy. Here goes nothing. Hopefully I can stick with it. My goal right now is to simply get through a month and see how I feel. SAM'S CALLING...okay, he just needed his pacey. So, here we go.

Late Night

Well, life has changed quite a bit since our last post, granted a lot usually does happen after 3 or 4 months. Sam is getting so big and is so close to crawling it is scary and exciting. He is so curious and loves to play with the remote control and my cell phone. I have to make sure he has a pacifier in his mouth so that they don't go in. Michael got a job and is working form 4 in the morning until 12:30 out in Hillsboro (about 30-35 minute drive from where we are living). Our intention is to eventually move out there but we are trying to save some money up first. We are still living with my parents and that has been a huge blessing. I've been blessed to be able to stay home with Sam and not have to work so far. It has been wonderful to stay home and take care of the house as well as my son but it is also a bit lonely as he isn't talking. I feel very blessed though and wouldn't really want it any other way. Michael and I are currently assisting in starting a church plant with several other people out in Hillsboro and loving it. The people are amazing and God is doing awesome things. We have already tripled in size and consistently have about 30-40 people on any given Sunday evening. Michael has been assisting with worship and I've helped out in the nursery as the most recent time I put Sam in there he ended up screaming and wasn't calmed until I came in. I love that he is recognizing me now and wanting to have me around. UB is doing the same. We have taken him to the dog park several times and he loves it. He usually gets in the kiddie pool several times after retrieving his ball. He still hasn't understood the concept of bringing it to us and dropping it. Someday...hopefully. I'm not sure if there is really anything else to update about. Life is life and we are going with the flow. This is the first time in 2 years that Michael and I have had different schedules and it continues to be a challenge getting used to him being gone so often. I am slowly coming around but still have days when I just want company. Not sure how many of you still read our blog but I'll try to update more often and as I am usually home that shouldn't be too difficult :>

Here are some pics to enjoy:

Hmm...

Sorry. I know it has been a while since someone last wrote. Life has actually not been crazy lately. However, we are trying to set up some kind of schedule now that we are more laid back and relaxed. The thing I am proudest of is that Sam is now on a schedule. He goes to bed between 9 & 10 and gets up between 4 & 5 to eat and then sleeps until about 8 or 9. It is so wonderful. The day after we arrived in Portland he started to laugh. It is SO ADORABLE! I love him so much. He is such a happy baby and such a wonderful blessing. He seems to have settled down here and I am so glad. The weather has been really wet but it is nice to be away from the humidity. I would post new pics of Sam but I don't have the ability just yet (I need to unpack some of our computer stuff). I can at least give you the low down...he is now 4 months old and when I weighed him on our scale he came in at about 16 pounds. For those of you who keeping track...that is 10 lbs and 7 oz gained from his lowest weight after birth. He is a chunk and has some MAJOR rolls and I LOVE IT!! I completely agree that chunky babies are the best (although I may be a bit biased :)

On the job front, Michael has been applying like crazy. Our hope is that I can be a stay-at-home mom with Sam and any other babies we have in the future. If I do need to work, my plan is to run a daycare. I have had a few people tell me that I should attempt it and since I have been working with kids over the last year and a half I feel well qualified. I would like to wait until Sam is a few months older and able to sit up by himself so that he can occupy himself with stuff but who knows. Necessity may change plans. In the meantime, I am thinking about applying at a temp agency just for an immediate income until Michael finds something long term. At least he would be able to stay home with Sam.

I am sitting here at 12:21 am listening to my hubby play his guitar and sing. I have missed this so much. I feel like I haven't heard him play in months. It is one of the most wonderful things to hear. I can hear his love for music and I remember while we were dating. I can't believe that was almost 5 years ago. God has been so good to us. I know He will continue to provide for us and stretch us. My fear is that I won't be able to stay home with Sam due to our school debt but I know God is the great provider and all things are possible through Him. I am trusting Him to lead us where He wants us.

Thank you for your faithful reading and hopefully the next post will be sooner :D

Oh and we will continue this blog as we feel it is a good way to keep people up to date on what we are doing. Thank you for your prayers and continued support as we continue our journey.

Moving

Well, I was just looking through our old posts and realized I did not post this after writing it...oops. I don't think I ever actually finished it but it gives an idea of some of the things going through my head after the move.

As we drove away from our home in NC, I became very sad. Sad that we were leaving all that we called home for the last year. We made wonderful friends and a few new additions to our family. It became very difficult to leave our NC family. Michael and I talked about all that God taught us over the last year. We have grown so much and learned an enormous amount about ourselves and each other. I praise the Lord for sending us to NC. It was amazing learning to depend more on God and my husband and realize how strong I truly am. I struggled less with homesickness than I ever expected possible and loved the country life. It has actually been difficult getting used to all the cars passing by the house now. It seems very unusual. I am getting used to it. The flight was long but Sam did amazing. He slept through the majority of it and just looked around. I hope he is always such a laid back person. He has been a bit more fussy lately but I attribute it to late nights and early mornings. He is still getting used to the difference in time (I think).

My first mother's day with Sam

Well, my fear as mother's day approached was that I would not feel special or pampered. Growing up my sister and I loved to celebrate our mom and make her feel very well taken care of. We would make her breakfast in bed, give gifts and have fun. As we only have one week left before returning to Portland I feared that some of our kids would have a difficult time with this day and since we have a teen mom I wanted to make sure she felt special as well. Michael started off the day waking up at 6:50 and leaving the house with Sam. He returned home a little over an hour later and laid my sweet baby boy next to me in the bed. He then returned with breakfast in bed, a card and a rose. I am not a big morning eater...don't get me wrong, I would be if I wasn't usually stressed out and crazy busy making sure Sam is fed and changed as well as the other kids. My mornings are usually stupid and I am always tired but it is the only time that Michael knew he would have to celebrate with me and Sam. Here is the list of things he brought me for breakfast: raisin bran, 8oz orange juice, a small hot chocolate, a banana, yogurt, and two of my fav. krispy kreme doughnuts. I only ate about half of what was on my plate and finished off the rest the next morning (although the doughnuts got eaten that evening). In the card were two CD's. The card was amazing. Michael had given the pen to Sam and guided his hand to sign his name. It looks awesome. The rose and the carnation (from church) are sitting in the middle of our dining room table. I took our teen out for dinner at one of her favorite places and got a Bible that I intend to have all the kids sign. It was a wonderful start to a very difficult day...one I don't think I will ever forget. I wish I had some pictures of Sam and I from our first Mother's day but time did not allow. He was pretty adorable though...he was wearing his "I love my mommy" onesie, some sweats and sneakers. So cute! One week until I return to the great NW. Can't wait to see all of my wonderful family and be able to sleep for once (it's crazy that Sam is not the one that doesn't allow me sleep...I always seemed to take for granted those Saturday lazy days...not any more).

Becoming a Mom

Growing up my desire was always to be a stay-at-home mom. However, I never wanted to be the typical 50’s wife who does all the cleaning and cooking. I also wanted a large ranch-style house. I have always wanted my marriage to be a cooperation, which I believe is what God intended it to be. Michael and I discussed this at length before we married. I shared with him my fears and desires as a wife and mother. However, as I have done this job, I have learned that all I want to do is stay home with my son and care for him and my hubby. I want to do the laundry and keep the house clean, I want to do the cooking. I have also realized that I want a smaller house. I want something cozy and comfortable (and easy to keep clean). I know I will have to get rid of a lot of our things when we move into our own place. I am okay with that as long as I am able to live clutter free and clean. I love being Sam’s mom and Michael’s wife. I feel that is what God has for me. It is my greatest desire. My hope and prayer is that we will be able to afford the change. I am already trying to whittle down our expenses to find out what we need to make in order for me to stay home. I would greatly appreciate your prayers.

Update

Wow...I can't believe it has already been a month since our last post. So much has happened. First off we decided it was time to head back West. We want Sam to be blessed by his grandparents and know them well and feel that it would be difficult for him to have that if we are living 3000 miles away. We had such a wonderful time with our families visiting and we can't wait to be near them again. Sam is doing wonderfully. He had his two month check up early April and is a healthy chubby baby boy. He now weighs in at 13lbs, 8oz and is 23 inches long. We've been so blessed by him. He is smiling like crazy and starting to make a lot of cooing sounds. He has been much more alert as of late and greatly enjoying his surroundings. He is constantly taking things in and looking around. He loves to sit on our bay window on his tummy looking outside. What an amazing blessing he is. We did find out at his appointment that he prefers to lay on the left side of his head which is causing a flat spot on his head. This could turn into something very serious so the doctor told us that he needs to have a lot of tummy time to round it back out. Now, first off, no one ever told me that it was possible for a baby's head to do that and second, tummy time in a house full of hyper kids is pretty difficult. I don't want him on the floor for obvious reasons but I don't want him in the back where I can't supervise. So, we've been holding him in his carrier and giving him tummy time after the kids go to bed and while the toddler in the house is napping. I have difficulty not holding Sam or being able to be within an arms reach of him if the kids are around. I know they would never do anything to him but I don't fully trust leaving him on the couch or floor without my presence next to him. I guess my real fear is that they will try to assist with something that I would rather they not. Oh well, I love the kids we have despite the difficulties and will miss them greatly after we leave. I am already having difficulty with the idea of leaving. I noticed a general desire to check-out and have been attempting (very hard) to stay present both emotionally and mentally. However, I feel at every turn I am getting knocked down by something I forgot to do or by not doing something. It has been very stressful. I love our lives here and all that it has afforded us (time with Sam and a ton of parenting tools, good friends and wonderful kids - yes, all of them). I have been a lot more sad lately and tired. I don't feel I ever get the amount of rest I need and the idea of actually being able to enjoy church is out the window. Our church doesn't have a Sunday school program because they believe it is good for the kids to observe what worship is through the adults in their lives. I agree but it makes it difficult because they do not want to sit and be quiet for over an hour. Michael has been such an encouragement to me. He allowed me to sleep for a couple of hours (actually it was more just resting) on Monday and has been working at giving me more of a break if I feel I need it. I feel so tired and have such mixed feelings concerning our leaving. I hate leaving our kids but I feel so burned out that I don't feel I am doing them any good by being here. I know they love Michael and I (and Sam of course) but I try to just keep telling them that we will continue to talk to them and be involved in their lives after we leave. Well, I've gone on long enough. Michael and I are going to go pack some more in a short while and I am hungry (again...it has become my comfort at night after the kids go to bed, plus with the stress during the day I don't eat too terribly much). Thank you all for your continued support and prayers over the last year. We can't wait to see so many of you again. God bless and enjoy the pictures!!

Visitors

Well, Sam is now 2 months and 3 days old. I can't believe how fast the time has gone. He is gaining weight so fast and is such an amazingly good baby. He is so laid back, perfect for the work we are doing right now. I can't imagine having 5 foster kids who are high maintenance and my own. Well, all of our family has been able to meet the little squirt. First Grandma Gayle and Uncle Erick visited in February (18th-25th). We, unfortunately, did not take any time off while they were in town and quickly regretted it. It was such a busy week, it seemed like I was taxi cabbing kids around daily to appointments (which I was). We had such a wonderful time and it killed me to see them leave. Uncle Jacob and Aunt Heidi were next to visit (March 5-8). We made sure we had at least 2 nights to ourselves on vacation. it was such a wonderful blessing and we had such a great time. It wasn't as hard to say goodbye although I still hated to see them leave. Next was Grampa Frank and Gramma Linda (March 18-24). We had most of their visit on vacation. It was awesome. We were able to show them around and rest up. I loved having them. They were able to watch Sam while Michael and I went on a walk. It was awesome to have some time with the hubby. They also took him for two nights and he ate out of his bottles. I haven't experienced a full night's sleep since January so this was a wonderful time to recoup before returning to work. It was also difficult to see them leave. Mom kept a smile on her face until she was out of sight and they've missed him like crazy since they have left, as has every other family member. I can't wait to see them again. It was so wonderful watching them interact with Sam and Sam smiled at all of them.

Sam has been doing so well. He can now hold his head up and is smiling at us a lot more often. He is taking bottles without a problem and his daddy has been able to feed him. It is so precious. Sam received his SSC in the mail yesterday as well as met the Easter Bunny at our Easter Egg Hunt for the kids. He was wide awake and it was a beautiful day. He looked right at the camera for the picture but I haven't downloaded it yet. Another post I guess. Life here has been hectic and I have been very tired. I miss my family and can't wait to head to Portland. I look forward to Sam meeting even more of his family. The kids have been doing pretty well although they have been going through a hard time (yes, all of them) although each of them has a different way of expressing their emotions which greatly depends on their maturity level. Here are some pictures from the visits we've been blessed to have. Hope you enjoy.

Sweet Sam

I can't believe it has been almost a month since our sweet little Sam was born. He has grown out of his preemie clothes and is close to growing out of his newborn size. He is awake more often these days but still sleeping well at night. He looks so much like Michael but has a few of my features. He found his thumb the other day and that shows that he is like me. I sucked my thumb until I was 9 years old...I am hoping he enjoys the pacifier and ignores his thumb. Only time will tell. Right now, Michael's mom and brother are visiting and they brought pictures of Michael as a baby. Samuel looks like his dad with lighter hair. I feel so blessed to have a healthy baby boy who is growing (although a little too quickly). I have mixed feelings, I look forward to seeing more of his personality as he grows and being able to play with him and his toys but it is so difficult seeing him grow so quickly and knowing he'll never be small again. Such a sweet angel. I love him to death and can't imagine life without him. I am already looking forward to another. I wanted to post some pictures so enjoy.

Samuel Owen Hollifield

Born 1:27 pm on 1/25/2010. He is 5 pounds and 14 ounces, 20 inches long. Blond, blue-eyed and beautiful. And grumpy...he's had a long day. Jen is doing wonderfully. We are both very happy and enjoying our new son. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers. More pictures and stories will follow.

Home Made

When I got pregnant I thought it would be a fun project to let each of our kids tie-dye a onesie for Samuel. Well, the kids had this last Monday off school and to keep them busy we decided it would be the perfect day to let them make a mess. So, we will now have a hippie kid this summer. Here are the results:

The first four are the ones Michael and I did and the other four are the kids' creations. They had such a wonderful time. I have also been working on a blanket since I found out I was pregnant. It was a pattern my Great Grandma Carter used to knit/crochet a baby blanket for me when my mom was pregnant and my grandma knit one for Samuel as well. The edging in the pattern has tassels and I decided to do something different so that each blanket is unique. I really like the way it turned out. I have it in the wash now getting clean. Here are the pics:


And lastly, I have explained a few times about my swollen feet. I had to post a picture for everyone to see. It is pretty sad. Michael has been amazing and rubs them daily.

So Close

Well, I am two weeks from my due date (13 days to be exact) and I can't wait. At my appointment two weeks ago, I was told that I am 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. I was hoping that at my appt. last week they would tell me that I have made more progress. However, I was hit with the information that I had made no progress whatsoever (I was told that he is at a minus 2 station), I had gained a pound a day (I attribute this greatly to having a afternoon appt. for the first time and having just eaten lunch), and I was positive for group B strep (which means 3-4 intervals of 30 minute IV meds. once I go into labor and Samuel is going to have to be monitored for 36 - 48 hours). I was not a happy camper when I left the office. I was so disappointed and concerned that I would have to leave my newborn son at the hospital while they discharged me. I quickly called my doctor and asked if that would be the case as I forgot to ask it while in the office. I learned about 2 hours later that I would be staying with him. Praise the Lord!! I am so glad I do not have to leave the hospital empty handed. After that worry was over, I began to do some research on Group B strep and found that it can be fatal to the baby if he contracts it during labor (thus the meds). I have yet to ask if I can still have a water birth despite the need for antibiotics but my assumption is that they will have me in the bed during the antibiotics and then I can chill in the tub (hopefully). I'll find out on Friday as long as my memory reminds me to ask. I quickly perked up and remembered that God has it all under control.

On the upside, we finally received the birthing tub, car seat and diapers. I am so excited. I can't wait to have him. I had a friend explain to me what a contraction felt like as I have no idea and nobody has really explained it in a way I have experienced. Sure enough, as soon as she explained it, I started feeling them. They are not regular and although they have increased at times in intensity it is never consistent. Michael and I had a couple friends visit today and we went on a walk and then a hike. The whole time I was hoping that it would help in either moving this kid on south or begin the laboring process for real. Three hours later and I still had more contractions yesterday than today. I guess I just need to continue walking more. However, my kankles make it very difficult. My toes are so swollen that it hurts at times to walk because they get bent. Michael has been great about rubbing them for me. The other night he told me it felt like he was playing with Playdoh. A fun analogy that I would have to agree with. So, I am trying to guzzle water and keep my feet up as much as possible but that is very difficult with 5 kids and so much around the house to do (plus the nesting instinct has kicked in full blast). Speaking of which, it is time for me to go pick up the kids from the bus stop. Hope our next post has some pictures of our son (if not, at least something interesting :)

New Year Plans vs. Reality

Well, our New Year's eve was quite eventful. Not in the way we had wanted it to be. Our plan was to spend the day at home nibbling on finger foods and watching movies before the ball dropped. What actually happened was far different. I woke up at about 1:30 am as one of our kids was feeling nauseated and wanted some meds. As I was getting back into bed I realized that I also felt sick to my stomach and sure enough a half hour later I was in the bathroom. I'll leave out the fun details but needless to say I could not keep anything down and was feeling very sick. I spent the entire day attempting to keep down liquids which was very difficult as I wanted to guzzle something as I was dehydrated. I spoke to the triag nurse at my doctor's office several times and she informed me to be highly aware of any contactions as sickness like this at 35 1/2 weeks can induce labor. THAT IS NOT SOMETHING I WANTED TO HEAR. Since I have never had kids before, I had to ask what a contaction feels like and how she described it did not help. I may have felt a couple during the day but I'm not sure. We decided at about 6:30 to go the emergency room and got me hooked up to some IV fluids (as I was still unable to keep anything down - no worries, Samuel is still in the belly safe and warm). My temp. at that point had gotten up to 101.7 and I was feeling less nauseated but very tired. I slept through most of the IV stuff although the bed was killing my back as there was very little support for my growing baby bump. Poor Sam. I was so concerned that he was not getting what he needed. My dad reminded me that he gets first dibs on anything he needs and I get the left overs, which at this point was little to nothing. After the fluids, my temp was back to normal and I was ready to sleep. We got home by 10 (a super quick trip to the ER, I believe due to the fact that I was pregnant). Michael woke me to watch the ball drop and then I was back in bed. Michael and one of the kids made the finger foods and all the kids enjoyed eating them. Yesterday I was mostly tired and Michael let me sleep/rest most of the day. Sadly, this morning I woke up at about 5:30 to Michael doing the same thing I did hte other night. He has been in bed all day not feeling well. I am taking care of him and hoping and praying that he can sleep through most of the day. Unfortunately about an hour ago one of the kids told me that she was feeling sick to her stomach as well. She is now in her room resting and hopefully will be feeling better soon but I have a feeling it is going to take about a day. My prayer is that this stomach bug will leave our house soon as it seems to be going around and around. Hopefully our next update will include some good news concerning a healthy family. In the mean time, we appreciate your prayers for patience and healing. Thank you.