Update

Wow...I can't believe it has already been a month since our last post. So much has happened. First off we decided it was time to head back West. We want Sam to be blessed by his grandparents and know them well and feel that it would be difficult for him to have that if we are living 3000 miles away. We had such a wonderful time with our families visiting and we can't wait to be near them again. Sam is doing wonderfully. He had his two month check up early April and is a healthy chubby baby boy. He now weighs in at 13lbs, 8oz and is 23 inches long. We've been so blessed by him. He is smiling like crazy and starting to make a lot of cooing sounds. He has been much more alert as of late and greatly enjoying his surroundings. He is constantly taking things in and looking around. He loves to sit on our bay window on his tummy looking outside. What an amazing blessing he is. We did find out at his appointment that he prefers to lay on the left side of his head which is causing a flat spot on his head. This could turn into something very serious so the doctor told us that he needs to have a lot of tummy time to round it back out. Now, first off, no one ever told me that it was possible for a baby's head to do that and second, tummy time in a house full of hyper kids is pretty difficult. I don't want him on the floor for obvious reasons but I don't want him in the back where I can't supervise. So, we've been holding him in his carrier and giving him tummy time after the kids go to bed and while the toddler in the house is napping. I have difficulty not holding Sam or being able to be within an arms reach of him if the kids are around. I know they would never do anything to him but I don't fully trust leaving him on the couch or floor without my presence next to him. I guess my real fear is that they will try to assist with something that I would rather they not. Oh well, I love the kids we have despite the difficulties and will miss them greatly after we leave. I am already having difficulty with the idea of leaving. I noticed a general desire to check-out and have been attempting (very hard) to stay present both emotionally and mentally. However, I feel at every turn I am getting knocked down by something I forgot to do or by not doing something. It has been very stressful. I love our lives here and all that it has afforded us (time with Sam and a ton of parenting tools, good friends and wonderful kids - yes, all of them). I have been a lot more sad lately and tired. I don't feel I ever get the amount of rest I need and the idea of actually being able to enjoy church is out the window. Our church doesn't have a Sunday school program because they believe it is good for the kids to observe what worship is through the adults in their lives. I agree but it makes it difficult because they do not want to sit and be quiet for over an hour. Michael has been such an encouragement to me. He allowed me to sleep for a couple of hours (actually it was more just resting) on Monday and has been working at giving me more of a break if I feel I need it. I feel so tired and have such mixed feelings concerning our leaving. I hate leaving our kids but I feel so burned out that I don't feel I am doing them any good by being here. I know they love Michael and I (and Sam of course) but I try to just keep telling them that we will continue to talk to them and be involved in their lives after we leave. Well, I've gone on long enough. Michael and I are going to go pack some more in a short while and I am hungry (again...it has become my comfort at night after the kids go to bed, plus with the stress during the day I don't eat too terribly much). Thank you all for your continued support and prayers over the last year. We can't wait to see so many of you again. God bless and enjoy the pictures!!