Happy 18th Birthday Erick!!!!!!!!

A few nights ago Jen was listening to the CD that I made a while back. A song came on that made me smile. I wrote this song about moving to the other side of the world. At the time that I wrote it Jen and I were considering moving to South Korea to teach English. The song was about how moving away was something that we felt we had to do but that we would still miss home. Well, we didn’t make it to the other side of the world but we made it to the other side of the country. We do miss home. In the song there was a line about praying for rain, of course because it would remind us of good old Portland, Oregon. No need to pray for rain in North Carolina. North Carolina has provided plenty of rain since we have been here. When we were thinking of moving here everyone told us that it never rains in North Carolina. This is a lie. It has been flooding our yard all day. There has been plenty of thunder and lightning as well. But it does remind me of home and so it hasn’t been all that bad. Although our planned trip to the lake today was definitely cancelled.
As Jen has said in past blogs we have adjusted here quite well. But every once in awhile something reminds me of Portland and makes me miss it deeply. I’ve seen the Schwan’s truck every once in a while and it reminds me of Jen’s family. Soon after arriving at our new North Carolina I also had a dream that we were hanging out with them and it hit me that I wasn’t going to be able to do that quite as easily anymore. My mom just got a dog and I want to go over to her house with our new dog but I can’t. It was also my brothers eighteenth birthday today and I had to wish him happy birthday over a voicemail message. I also heard a song online that I had sung and played guitar on for a Portland friend. It made me miss all my Portland friends a great deal and miss all of the music that we had played together. It’s hard to see them all going on with their lives and music with out me but of course I wish them the very best and I am very proud of them all.
Things have been going well here. The kids are on Easter/Spring break now and so we will have to figure out things for them to do all day long for the next week. It’ll be fun because there are times that their attention spans last about 30 seconds before they are ready to do something new. I’ve heard the phrase “I’m bored” so many times already and they have been on break for one day. I have started to appreciate my mom and parents in general in an entirely new way. Although they sometimes try our patience we have been really blessed with the kids that we have. They keep us on our toes but they are great kids. Some of the other foster parents have had some pretty intense struggles with their foster kids recently so we feel very blessed to have the family we have for the time being. A scary thing happened with our foster baby last night. He was in his high chair and was able to reach out and knock a plate off of the table. We looked down and thought he had cut open his hands with plate shards. It looked like his hands were covered in blood. Of course it was only ketchup. But for that moment we were terrified. The baby was terrified as well. The poor little guy was shaking. Today went much better for him. He is taking his first steps while holding onto things. Today he was also able to climb into a box.
U.B. got into an epic puppy battle with the boxer/lab puppy across the way. It was awesome. Up to this point U.B. had only been able to play with dogs much larger and older than him. The boxer was more of an equal match. I was impressed; U.B. did well. Usually U.B. is more of a lover than a fighter. By that I mean that when coming across another dog (or human leg for that matter) his go to move is usually mounting. They grow up too fast. Really they do. I can’t wait until we can nip that activity in the bud if you know what I mean. Yup, we are going to cut that habit short as soon as we can. Recently the girls discovered a way to deal with U.B.’s chewing, his other ugly habit. If you want to hold U.B. you can hold him in your arms like a baby and hold his rawhide bone in his mouth like a baby bottle. It’s pretty hilarious. Unfortunately at the rate he is growing this activity will probably not last us more than a week or two. U.B. keeps on trying to crawl through chairs and things like he was able to just several days ago. It’s not working like it used to. For him the whole house is shrinking and he has no clue why.
Well the kids are finally in bed (we had a late movie night) and so I am going to take this opportunity to do the same. Another full day starts in just a few hours. Blessings on you all, we love you and miss you.

Time of Reflection

Well, Michael was sweet enough to take the kids to an event at the gym tonight so I get to take a rare moment to breath while the kids are gone. It seems to strange to be in a house all by myself. I am loving the quiet. I have found that even when you have a house full of kids (even while they are at school), it never seems to quiet down. Lately it has felt as if we are consitently running from one appointment to the next. I feel like a taxi cab between transporting one child to school (35 miles away) and picking up others for appointments. While life is exhausting I feel so blessed to be working with Michael. I love my job. I love that I get to stay home (most of the time) and train the dog and spend time with Michael. We have been so busy that it almost feels like we don't get a whole lot of time to spend together but he quickly reminded me that if we were not doing this, we would be working 40 hours a week apart from each other. I think I prefer this quite a bit more. God has been so good to us. He has continued to grow us together and we are learning so much about parenting as well as good communication. I think the biggest frustration is getting this little (although not so little anymore) puppy to quit chewing on EVERYONE. I no longer have a pair of jeans that do not have holes in them. I was kind of in need of new jeans anyway so I guess he just helped me along in the process :>

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and it was a little cloudy. However, it was EXTREMELY windy and cold (my favorite weather). It was so amazing driving home this morning after dropping off one of the kids at school that we are blessed to be surrounded by so much beauty. The mountains that surround us look blue most of the day. It is strange but it is actuallly supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow. Fortunately it will be too warm to stick but the school district will still close if they see any snow whatsoever. It is strange how much different things are run here. The kids have Good Friday off of school and rather then a spring break they get an Easter break next week. It is nice to see how beliefs come into play here because they seem able to acknowledge them without condemnation. I hope y'all (yes, the southern vocab is sinking in) have a wonderful Easter Sunday.

Last night my dog peed in front of one of the wealthiest women in the nation. She is an old family friend of our coworker Zach and he brought her to our campus to tell her about the organization and hopefully to receive some kind of donation. She is a very kindhearted woman that gives of her blessings generously. She also brought her rocket scientist boyfriend. Zach brought them to our house so that she could meet one of the foster families "in action." It was of course important to make a good impression. When they came over we had just gotten home. They rang the doorbell just as I was getting our dog out of the kennel. He ran to the door with ample husky energy abounding. As I opened the door the pup ran out to see uncle Zach and almost piddled on his pants. "I'm wearing Dockers stain resistant pants but I don't think that those are the kind of stains that they are talking about," Zach commented. U.B. then waddled to the dirt in front of our porch and let forth a flood of urine. At least he made it outside for the most part. Luckily our guests were all dog people and they loved him to death.

Later in the evening I realized why I love our job. Sometimes it's easy to get frustrated with all the meetings and driving and drama. But last night my job was to give a beautiful little baby boy a bath (you have to love the fresh baby smell), and play with sidewalk chalk with one of our girls. I also attempted hopscotch. After I finished drawing a goofy face on our porch I just sat there enjoying the pink and purple sunset and the mountains that surround us. U.B sat by my feet chewing on a stick. These were holy moments. These are the kind of moments that still convince me that there is a God amidst all the pain in this world. One reason that we came here was to get away from the daily grind and enjoy the life that God has blessed us with. There are elements of this job that are still grind-like; I don’t think that can be avoided with any career. But here we are also blessed with community and relationship. We have already seen lives starting to change for the better and hope in hopeless situations. We’ve only been here a couple months. I look forward to seeing the amazing things that will continue to happen.

Journey

For the last couple days the two oldest of our girls have been trying to schedule a hair appointment to do some highlights and cuts. I think they look just fine as they are but of course my opinion would not matter at all. I've been thinking about getting my hair done as well. Maybe I will cut it short, spike it and bleach it. Then maybe I will finally reach my goal of being "man pretty." On second thought I doubt that kind of hairstyle would go well with my beard. I'm growing it out. If I don't get tired of it and if Jen doesn't cut it while I sleep it may reach Jerry Garcia type proportions.
In more important news we think we have found a church. It is called Journey Church and it is a new plant that just opened a few weeks ago. It is a little flashy for us. They have enough PowerPoint’s and movie clips going during the service to cause an epileptic seizure. But we definitely feel like it is the best fit for us that we have found so far. Although we wanted the worship to be slightly more contemplative and less electric we feel like we will be happy at Journey.
We have visited a lot of churches. We visited one church that was actually pretty hateful and bigoted. That was good times. It’s always hard looking for a church because you feel like you are picking apart every congregation you visit. Aside from the hateful church most that we have visited have been great in their own way. We have just not felt like we would fit there or that the foster kids that we have and will have in the future would fit there. It takes a special kind of church to be able to provide support for some sometimes very rebellious teenagers. We have been trying to focus on where God would have us instead of finding a church full of people that are just like us, or a church that fits our every “need.” The church cultures in the south are definitely very different than in Portland (as we expected), but I’m sure that God will use the differences to grow us.
In the recent sermon series the Journey Church Pastor has been focusing on the last 24 hours of Christ’s life so of course there has been some very powerful stuff discussed. The pastor has some very good insights into the characters of the Jesus narrative. So far our kids have really appreciated the church and so that has been a blessing to see. We have found a place to serve, a home, a dog, and a church. All the major things that we have been looking for have been found. Now the next step is figuring out all the things in our new life that we weren’t necessarily looking for. We’ll keep you posted.

On Pet Sounds and Baby Sounds

Today has been a good day. The organization we work for has a thrift store and yesterday while there I found a mint copy of “The Pet Sounds Sessions” by The Beach Boys for $3.00. Usually it is $63.00. I almost squealed like a little girl right there in the middle of the store. “The Pet Sounds Sessions” is a compilation of different takes and studio recordings that didn’t end up being on the original record. It also has a couple of booklets with information on the recording process. Brian Wilson is brilliant. One of the booklets discusses how “Pet Sounds” was meant to be a very spiritual and healing record. Brian and Carl Wilson would pray during recording sessions. Through lyrically simple, poignant love songs Brian Wilson explores hope, love, God, and feeling lost in this world. Anyhoo today I have been listening to it nonstop and playing with my little pet. Every once in awhile U.B. will look at the speakers, tilting his head in curiosity.
Today has been a much-needed day of rest for Jen and I. This week has been extremely busy. Jen and I have felt like we haven’t had much time to breath. Living with preteen and teenage girls is quite a recipe for drama.
The only negative thing that happened today was this morning when I threw out my back a little when I freaked out at the puppy for pooing on the floor. I kid you not. I had just taken the little bugger out. I didn’t want to kill the pup so I kind of internalized my anger and shook my arms in rage. Now my neck and upper back have been killing me.
We were able to read a bit today, then Jen left with the girls to do some shopping. Now they’re back and the older girls are all watching “Dirty Dancing.” This movie makes me throw up in my mouth a little but it taught me one of the most important lessons of my life. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
In other news our youngest foster kid has discovered what I call his “awful voice.” He squeals at the exact pitch that makes me want to drill my eardrums out. Then of course I wouldn’t be able to listen to the Beach Boys so I guess I will leave my eardrums intact.

Crying Wolf

This is U.B. A coworker gave us this little Border Collie/Husky mix. His name is taken from the movie Uncle Buck. Jen's family American Eskimo that died recently was named Buck. In the country the dogs run free, are fruitful and multiply so we got a free dog out of it. He is of course extremely busy attempting to manically chew on everything. He is basically like having another kid. But the night after we got him I was very stressed out. Trying to take care of the wife, the kids and a new puppy was exhausting and I had just had a conversation with a coworker that made me feel bad. I was questioning whether getting the pup was a good idea even though we had wanted one for a long time. While I was cooking dinner he came over, plopped down and rested his head on my foot. The stress left for the rest of the night. Other than the chewing thing he is a very good dog. He is basically potty trained and he does very well in his kennel. He loves everyone. We have been introducing him to dogs on campus and he is a very confident pup. He tried taking on a German Shepherd mix more than three times his size. He is very vocal as Huskies usually are . He makes all kinds of honks and moans and whines. It's pretty entertaining.

I was excited to get him because he looks a lot like a Border Collie mix that I had in Junior High. I had to give her up because I did not know how to take care of her. It killed me. So this time we are working very hard at training U.B. and making sure he gets his exercise. It has been good to go on walks with our foster kids and to teach them a bit about taking care of a dog. He is a difficult pup but I figure if I am not able to take care of a stubborn dog than I don't know how I will take care of five crazy kids. He has been a good test preparing me for much harder tests to come.

-Michael

U.B. also LOVES to play with ice...I (Jen) could watch him kick it (and then chase it) all over the kitchen floor!

On Roadkill, etc...

I ran over a cat the other day. There was nothing I could have done. I have no clue where it ended up. I got out to try and find it but had no luck. I also tried to locate the owner of the cat but again I was unsuccessful. It was probably just a stray cat that got bored and attempted an ill-fated game of chicken with a Ford Windstar Minivan. Unfortunately I have a feeling that road kill will be a larger part of our lives living out here in the country. Last night another cat attempted the exact same thing at the exact same turn. This kitty had better luck. I have mentioned the scenic grandeur that is all around us here but I have failed to mention that we are also surrounded by dead animals on every street we travel. Thank God I’m a country boy.
Other than the thump, thump issue we had with the cat we have had a pretty good week. It was a busy and stressful one though. We got a new girl in our house bringing our total to three kids. She had some temporary health issues that kept Jen hopping trying to provide for her physical needs. She is very quiet so it has been hard to find ways to relate to her (and hear her). She seems to be adjusting to our home well though. We got enough snow the other day to have a brief snowball fight. I lobbed a few misses at her and she lobbed a direct ice-ball hit in the one spot that drops every man to a quivering fetal ball. I didn’t want to make her feel bad so I played through the pain and kept her giggling while I cried on the inside.
I have a feeling that we are going to have to do something like that very often: keep going even though we are dealing with something that hurts a lot. I went for a brief walk with the guy that recruited us here and he had some wisdom to impart as we are starting to really enter into these kid’s lives. He told us that we are going to hear all of the hard things that these kids have gone through and for a while it is going to hurt a great deal. As we do this job longer we will learn ways to cope more effectively. Often we will find ourselves using humor to deal with things that aren’t really funny. It seems strange at first but I see that it is a big part of how the long timers make it in this profession. Ironically a bit of hardness is required to love effectively in this environment.
He also discussed the difficulty of sometimes seeing God working miracles and creating beauty in the messes that are these kid’s lives, and sometimes feeling like these kids have been completely ignored by God. There is definitely a tension in having faith and living in the world as it is.
Although we see this job getting harder and harder the more that we get to know and love these kids we also feel excited to be here. Even after everything that Jen had to deal with this week last night she was talking about how much she loves it here. I am so proud of her. So far she has had the hardest work to do and she has been amazing. For me being here feels like the most right thing that I have done since I asked Jen to marry me. We continue to appreciate your thoughts and prayers.