Christmas Cont.

Well, on Christmas day during dinner we shared with all of our kids that we wanted to take them to Build-a-Bear. Our 15 year old has been talking about always wanting to go there (at least she has been over the last month or so). We figured it would be a fun gift from Michael and I. The kids have been asking almost daily when we would be taking this trip (into Asheville). Today was finally the day. We got everyone ready and only left the house about 30 minutes later than planned. As soon as we walked into the mall, one of our girls said, "I think I see it." Sure enough she did and the girls wasted no time. It was awesome to see how excited they were. Each kid got one stuffed animal, an outfit and a pair of shoes. It was so much fun going through the process with them and helping them. On our trip home the teen said that it was her best Christmas gift. She can't wait to go back and wants to make it an annual tradition. Like the teen, I have always wanted to go as well so Michael and I got a stuff owl for Samuel which Michael named Irving (after John Irving, the author of A Prayer for Owen Meany). It was such a blast. I am hoping to get a picture of all the dressed stuffed animals to post with the names. The kids had such a good time and were very well behaved.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and the kids can't wait for the food (and neither can I). I love fixing a ton of finger foods and nibbling all day long. Such a fun way to spend the day. One of our kids said she wanted to watch the fireworks. We informed her that we would be staying home and watching the ball drop on TV and she would see the fireworks from the warmth of our living room. I can't imagine spending it outside in the freezing cold (snow still on the ground and icy).

A good reminder...

"But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one." 2 Thes. 3:3

Christmas Morning

Michael here-again this is a couple days old, I'm just posting it now. Blessings on you all.

It was a wonderful Christmas morning. The kids had a great time and it was a joy to watch the younger ones so excited and happy. One of the girls was squealing "EEEEEEE!" the whole time she was unwrapping. One hard thing was that two of our young girls were swamped with presents and one of them was not. The two girls were from a different county and so they got onto two Angel Tree lists on top of what we got them. The one girl only got what we could get her so her gift pile was significantly smaller. She was the one who needed less and so it was good in the long run but it was still hard to see a dissappointed, freckle-faced little girl on Christmas morning. She cheered up pretty quickly though and was able to enjoy the gifts that she did get.
The foster baby was blessed with a sea of toys as well. He saw a pair of shoes that he got and wasn't really interested in anything else after that. He is definitely a shoe man. I see fashion design in his future. The dog got some new tennis balls and an indestructable Kong toy that he immediately begun destroying. He also gave us a Christmas gift of two steaming piles of crap on the floor in the living room. He doesn't do this very often but it was raining hard outside and he did not want to get wet. Nothing says Christmas like the smell of dog poop.
Moving on from that lovely note we had a great dinner. I cooked a turkey roast in the crockpot and then did some broccoli with cheese sauce. Jen made sweet potatoes, orange Jello salad, chips and dip, and some blueberry crisp. Our oldest girl made some pinto beans. I am proud of myself for only slightly overeating during the holidays. I am glad that they are almost over so that I can more easily continue working at getting in good physical shape.
In other news my coworkers and I all passed on our Alpine Tower skills and so we can now lead the kids in climbing and other experiential recreation activities. I am excited. The guy that came on campus to test us was an old school climber with lots of experience and stories. He was actually the one that originally built the towers on our campus twenty years ago. It was a cool experience.
The day that we tested was very busy. As soon as I was finished climbing I was due to appear as a shepherd in the kids Christmas production. Because of my climbing training schedule I had only been able to make it to one practice for the Christmas show so I winged it a bit. It worked out though. As soon as we finished the last note of the last song one of the kids from another house said very loudly "So we're done now right?" Another kid said "that's unacceptable!" and the two boys started to argue loudly right there on stage. It was pretty hilarious.
Well the house is a mess of boxes and paper. Toys are all over the place and the dog is doing his best to try chewing on any little piece of Barbie clothes he can find. The girls made it til almost bedtime last night before they started bickering. We had considered letting them stay up late but then they started fighting and it was to bed as normal. God give us patience as we have more than a week of all of the kids home all of the time. I hope everyone reading had an awesome Christmas and I wish you a happy New year!

Games

Life has been busy around here (to say the least). The kids were out of school 3 days early due to the snow thus setting me back three days to finish my Christmas shopping. Today was a somewhat laid back day. I had a doctor's appointment for Sam today and did some shopping before returning home for a meeting. Then Michael left to pick some things up in Asheville (he's been gone for about 6 hours now). I actually had the energy to make dinner (my mother-in-law's potato soup...a favorite at our house). While making dinner I was attempting to listen closely to the three younger girls play so that I could break up any arguments and make sure they were all following the rules. It made me start to remember the games I played when I was a kid with my sister and friends. After almost getting hit hard in the head with a bouncy ball, I remembered when my mom used to let Heidi and I sit at the entrance to the kitchen (when no one was in there) and throw bouncy balls at the garage door. At times we got a little rambunctious and it would land in the sink with all the dirty dinner dishes or on the stove. So much fun though. I, however, stopped this game very quickly today. I didn't like my head being a target and the baby in the house just happened to be napping. I was also reminded of all the games that I played that were NOT safe. I'm sure if my mom had known we played some of these games she would have put a stop to them VERY quickly. The main one that came to mind was Swamp Monster. To understand this game you first have to understand the layout of my room growing up. Heidi and I had twin beds that sat at opposite walls. We would throw all of our blankets between our beds (about 3-4 feet of space) and we would take turns (we usually had a friend over or our cousins). One of us would hide under all the blankets while the other kids would jump between the two beds, at times either falling off the bed into the "swamp" or stepping in the "swamp" on the way to the other bed. The person in the swamp was hidden under all the blankets (are you beginning to see the danger?) and would try to grab someone as they jumped (the danger continues). The game went on like this. Amazingly (praise the Lord) no one was every stepped on or hurt (at least that I can remember). Also amazing, my mom never learned about this game...although I'm sure that if she had caught us we would have had no reason to think it was dangerous. All I can think of now is how thankful I am that none of my kids can play in another kids room. It saves on so much of my sanity and keeps me from having to make a trip to the emergency room (except that they get pretty bored in the living room at times). As I was thinking about this today while the kids were playing I had to smile. If only they knew that the one telling them not to play a "dangerous" game was also the one who played the game above. If only they got a glimpse of how I was growing up they would probably have a completely different opinion of me. Now, I fear that I am the strict parent (Michael is too, but I'm the one that gets on them more about what they play...Michael gives them a little more freedom). Perhaps it's something I'll explain to them one day...I think they would laugh pretty hard, or tell me that it was a dumb game to play. Who knows??



Mom, Heidi and I building a snowman.



A. Denise, Heidi and I on Christmas eve. Heidi looks like she's about to bite A. Denise. She's mischievous.



Heidi, Adam, Joseph and me...we were always together and teaching each other new dangerous games.

SNOW DAY!!!!

We are whipping out blogs like mad. Today was pretty amazing. We had at least nine inches of snow. I took out the younger girls and the dog to play in the snow and it was one of my favorite memories from my time here so far. The dog, U.B., has Husky in him so he should be a natural snow dog but the last time we had snow he was afraid of it. Now he is a bit older and he enjoyed it thoroughly. He bounded and leaped and ran in front of the girls that were sledding. It was entertaining. The kids are so cute when they are all bundled up and red-nosed. My neighbor and I met up and watched the kids sled. My neighbor had his eyes on a much steeper hill. It was covered in twigs and shrubbery to get tangled in. This hill probably wouldn't have been office-approved for the kids to sled down but we have learned that when this is the case you simply don't ask. It actually didn't turn out too bad. It was a fast ride for the kiddies and it was a fun day. Things get stressful here with the constant nature of the job. We are never off for more than a couple of waking hours at a time and it is pretty draining. But having days like this are great because you get to enjoy watching the kids play. Every time they were inside they were bickering of course and asking a hundred questions a minute but while we were outside it was perfect.
One of the other couples that work here just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl (that looks so much like her daddy) and it is making me so anxious to see my baby boy. Tonight he has been moving around like mad and it was awesome. Last night we were watching a TV show that had a newborn on it and I got teary eyed. I'm turning into a woman. We keep getting gifts in the mail (and we are VERY thankful for them) and I keep on thinking of Sam in the new pajamas or bathing tub or whatever thing arrives and I get so excited. Just a little bit longer.

I'm a Writer, Climber, Runner, B Baller and Kid Wrangler

Michael here-I wrote this a few days ago but was not able to get it posted until now.

It has been awhile since I have posted to our blog. I have been keeping rather busy. During the month of November I was taking part in Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month). The idea is to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. You don’t edit, you just stream words onto the page as fast as possible. I finished! It was pretty exciting for me. I learned a lot. I am taking a break from my novel but eventually I will attempt to edit the book and make it something readable.
I have also been doing some other things on campus. A few of the other staff members and I have been training to be leaders on the Alpine Towers on campus. So we have spent a lot of time climbing and learning the ropes (literally). Jen really wants to do it as well; she worked a high ropes course one summer on Mt Hood and really enjoyed it. I’m sure she will be able to join us once she pushes out her puppy (as a staff member called it). My coworkers and I have to trust each other with our lives and it’s a pretty bonding experience. Climbing to the top is a beautiful feeling. We have a view of the mountains and hills that surround our campus. Today we were climbing when it was 30 degrees out. It is more difficult to climb when your hands are frozen but we made do. I started out today by climbing up the easy side as I have done several times. Then I had to climb the harder side which has smaller holds. In doing this I actually had to learn a bit of technique and so it took some adjustment for me to get up the first half of the tower. After I found my footing (literally) it felt like it took me no time to make it up to the top. It was one of the scarier things that I have ever done and I am glad I have had this experience. One of my coworkers who is a more natural climber was able to climb the firecrackers. Firecrackers are basically dangling logs with climbing holds. They swing around so it is much harder to move from one log to the other. It was awesome to watch. It will be cool to lead the kids in doing the climbs. It is a great way for them to conquer fears and for us as leaders to be able to start discussions with the kids about difficulties that they face in life.
I have been in the running club on campus with our eleven year old twins. I have cut 2 ½ minutes off of my mile since we have started and it has been awesome to get back in shape and to run around campus with the other kids in the club. The twins have a hard time pushing themselves but they definitely push harder when they are competing against each other. You know that the girls have worked hard because their faces turn bright red and their cheeks turn bright white. It’s cute. We are going to be participating in a 5k run and possibly an 8k as well.
I just started doing church league basketball with a few other guys. We lost our first game badly. The other team was fast and very tall and apparently God was with their team instead of ours. We play for a local Methodist church so apparently God likes the Baptists better than the Methodists. It was fun and we have a team with some good players so I look forward to playing against some other slower, shorter teams.
Jen has been wonderful to allow me to be involved in so many outside activities. For awhile I was getting really restless because I spent so much time in the house with the foster baby. I am trying to give Jen as many breaks as possible, tonight she is out with one of our girls doing Christmas shopping and going to dinner and a movie. I stayed home with the rest of the kids. It was a quite evening. I had three girls giggling and arguing, a baby crying, yelling and breaking stuff and a hyped up border collie/husky shedding hair all over and chewing on every little thing he can get his teeth on…good times. All of the kids are now in bed and I am finally able to have some down time so I am going to head off and do absolutely nothing. Peace out.

Thanksgiving & Other Goings On

-Jen

Well, Thanksgiving was a wonderful day. We ate dinner with another family and watched movies until 7 when we went home. The food was wonderful...I was pretty good and ate very small portions of everything. I am hoping that I have gained very little weight at my next doctor's appointment on Wednesday. We'll see. All the kids were amazing and very well behaved. It was a wonderful day topped off with a wind storm that night (25-30 mph winds). It was the perfect way to fall asleep. We did wake up to a tree that had fallen down behind our house. When we did arrive home, most of the items that were on our porch had been spread across our lawn and ready for pick up by the kids the next morning. Unfortunately it was still pretty windy the next morning. While it was a beautiful day, the kids spent most of it inside. It has been a five day weekend for the kids and they have done pretty well at getting along and staying busy. It seems to cut down on the fighting and bickering.

12/16 Update:
Well, it's been a couple of weeks since Thanksgiving and everything is going pretty well, although EXTREMELY hectic. We have our annual Christmas program and dinner on Saturday and rehearsals seem to be constant. I am so tired and having difficulty handling 20 questions every hour from our younger kids. Christmas is such a crazy time, I miss the simplicity of living life with my husband alone. I love our kids but life is so crazy trying to get all the visits set up especially when they get extended due to the holiday season. Trying to coordinate 4-6 visits a week is not easy!! We recently returned home from our visit in Portland. It was a quick visit but wonderful. We loved being able to see friends and family and just relax. I returned home with a cold though. I was unable to truly get a break while sick and that made it more difficult. I still feel like I am recovering from a lack of sleep. However, Michael is now sick. This is the 3rd or 4th time in the last 6 months. Please pray that he will get over this cold quickly. He has been giving me breaks when possible and that has been a huge help. Tonight he took the kids to a movie at the gym on campus so I am getting a little break. It feels good. Last night we all went to watch a basketball game and prior to leaving the house, I coughed and something in my rib cage popped. It did not feel good. It became difficult to exhale and turn certain ways. Fortunately, I felt better this morning and after applying a little heat, I was feeling much better. My doctor stated that I probably just stretched a muscle and will be fine in a few days. Praise the Lord!! This is kind of a random posting but it gives an idea of what we've been up to recently. Not much of anything new, a lot of the same old stuff.

*Samuel is doing well...growing and moving like crazy. I only have about a month and a half to go and I can't wait to see him. Please pray that all goes well with labor and delivery. I am concerned after having two friends get induced and then end up getting a c-section (they were both about 2 weeks late). My goal (not that I'm apposed to medication) is to have a natural water birth, which can't happen if I get induced. Please pray that the Lord will give me peace and that Sam will come on time. Thank you.

God is Faithful!!

I recently had to break some bad news to one of my foster kids. I had been praying about it all day while the child was at school and dreading having to break it to her knowing that it would break her heart. My fear was that she would act out in anger and use some very choice words. I had been praying all day that God would prepare her heart and give us (my case manager and me) the wisdom to know how to tell her. The time came to finally break the news. Michael took all the other kids out of the house for an hour so that we could have some privacy. The child surprised me. Instead of getting angry, she became very sad and began to cry. For this child, this is a huge step. She allowed us to comfort and cry with her. To see her heart break, broke mine as well. I truly love this child (and all my kids) and she has a special place in my heart. It killed me to have to watch her in so much pain, but I felt so blessed to be able to love her through it. I continue to encourage her and try to talk with her about how she is doing. My fear is that she will now begin to withdraw herself from others. My prayer for her is that this set back makes her stronger and trust those around her to support her. I hope that she realizes that she can reach out to those around her who love her and share exactly where she is at and know that she can trust us. I love you to death and want so much for her. She has so much potential and I have seen so much growth in her in such a short period of time. Please keep her in your prayers as well. While yesterday went very well, she needs to continue to process through this and that will take a while. Thank you.

I thought we moved away from Portland??

It has been raining non-stop for the last few days (I honestly don't remember when it started). Life has been good. Calmer now that we only have one teenage girl (still have a house full of girls but only one teenager). It has been such a blessing to have a more relaxed house. I am hoping we will have this group of kids for a while. The younger girls are loud and crazy (and EXTREMELY giggly) but I don't get as much attitude which is a HUGE blessing. When we started this job, my thought was that I could deal better with the teens because I had worked with the youth group for so long...I was way off!! I love all of our kids but the younger ones are a little more obedient and don't fight as much. Michael and I are constantly reminded of how thankful we are to have this experience before having our own kids. Not that we are experts by any stretch of the imagination but we have a better idea of how we want to raise our own and different tools we can use (or throw out). Lately the little one has been moving all over the place!! He is SO active and now that he is getting bigger, so are his movements. I read that around 28 weeks the baby begins sleeping only about 20-30 minutes at a time. I can definitely tell that he is awake more often or at least more frequently. It has been amazing to watch him move across my belly. Michael has been enjoying it, A LOT! We can't wait to see him. I keep thinking of all the things we still have to do (especially cleaning out all of the boxes from the nursery). We are making small progress at a time (at least all of the dirty laundry from that room is done...actually almost done). Michael has been moving out some of the boxes. The difficulty will be looking through all of the boxes still in there and sorting and reorganizing them. I can picture what I want that room to look like but at the moment this is what it looks like:






To be honest, it doesn't look NEARLY this bad now. We have made a lot of progress but I haven't taken any pictures for the last month or two. When we moved here it seemed like there was a lot more room than I thought it was. I feel like I am babbling at this point and don't have much to say. Life is good, the kids are good, the baby is great, Michael is active, and I'm in my last trimester. Praise the Lord for all He is doing in our lives. I know we would not have made it this long without Him.

A Roller Coaster of Emotion

Well, I'm 26 weeks (and 4 days) along and have found the pregnancy symptoms coming in waves. I spent a week depressed and EXTREMELY edgy. Michael was very sweet despite my horrible attitude. I am beginning to feel more uncomfortable and unattractive. It is more difficult to get around and bend over; even getting into the van is becoming a challenge. I truly love being pregnant but am beginning to deal with more of the insecurities. It is beginning to remind me of high school and early college when I was overweight and extremely insecure. I know I am getting bigger for a good reason and would be worried if I wasn't gaining weight (and truthfully I have only gained about 13-15 pounds and I'm almost to my 3rd trimester!!).

I have also begun dealing with back pain around my rib cage. Michael has been so sweet to rub my back when I ask. It is such a dull ache that it doesn't really go away but it feels good to have someone rub it for a while. He also came over the other day and started rubbing my feet. Later he asked me if my feet have started hurting or swelling yet. That is a definite no but I love a good food rub.

I am also dealing with some major cravings. I don't want anything that is good for me. I try (unsuccessfully) to deny some of the cravings for sweets but come 9 p.m. I can usually be found on the couch with a big bowl of cereal, some chocolate thing (whatever I can find in the house), crackers, cheese, last night it was tuna (not usually all of these but some random combination). Last Thursday I was craving doughnut after our pastor talked about dunkin' donuts. Michael was so sweet, he picked some up at the food room. He truly tried, however, the donuts were horrible. I still ate three of them but they did not satisfy the craving. I was just wanting a good chocolaty doughnut. I began thinking of Krispy Kreme...the chocolate covered kind with the white kreme whipped filling...YUM!! Last night the hubby had to pick up a couple of our kids from town and since it is the end of the month we were a little tight financially. When he arrived home, he said something along the lines of, "I know I shouldn't have done this considering our finances but here." He pulled out a box with a half dozen of the krispy kreme craving. I feel so loved!! He ate one with me and I have actuallly been able to refrain from eating the rest of them today.

I feel so blessed right now. I have so many friends and family who are supporting me and giving me a TON of advice (which I LOVE). I have an amazing husband who is taking wonderful care of me despite my mood swings and trying ever so hard to make me happy. God is providing for us daily and showing us that He is our provider. One example is that we had to get new tires for our van today (without question...we have driven 5000 in 2 months and the tires had already had some wear on them). Unfortunately we did not have the money in the bank for a set of new tires. I thought we would be getting paid tomorrow but we couldn't wait that long. However, when I checked our account, I found that our paychecks had been deposited today!! God is so good. Not only that but we were able to get a discount and we found a rebate for it online. The Lord is good!! It is crazy how often I take so much for granted. I am so blessed and loved. Thank you all for your continued prayers and support during this journey we are on. I can't believe we are getting so close to the end of the pregnancy and the beginning of Michael being able to take part in caring for our little boy in a more hands on way.

26 1/2 weeks

With the pretty flowers

Skunks, Squirrels and the Tooth Fairy

Living in the country you expect to see a lot of road kill. I can't count how many times over the last few months I have driven by a dead skunk and had the lingering smell in the car for several minutes. While growing up I can only remember a few times when we would drive by one and cover our faces to block out the smell. However, it always took me a couple of seconds and someone always had to tell me what it was. After this summer, I don't think I will EVER forget that smell again. It's strange though, with all the dead skunks we see on the side of the road I have never seen one that was alive...that was until yesterday morning. I was taking the kids to the bus stop and saw this white head moving around the parking lot. I slowed and realized it was a skunk. I got so excited as it skurried into the bushes while our high schooler stated that she would not be walking from the car to the bus (all of maybe 50 feet) and one of our grade schoolers stated that "I can smell it". I assured our high schooler that the skunk went the opposite direction and the grade schooler that the skunk was moving to fast to be able to spray at that point. It was pretty awesome.

We have also seen quite a bit of squirrels lately. Oddly, they are not dead as often. It's odd because they seem to have a serious death wish. In one hours time I nearly hit 4 of them. Since that day (about a month ago) I have nearly hit another hand full. I don't remember seeing so many squirrels during the summer but apparently they are preparing for winter because they are ALL OVER THE PLACE!! They are very cute but every time I see them now, I go for my brakes, preparing for the inevitable. Fortunately I still have not hit an animal while living in the country. Praise the Lord. I have come close though and know that it is really only a matter of time. I am just hoping it is not one of the dogs that run rampant outside their yards. I think that would just about do me in. I felt bad enough when Michael had the thump, thump incident with the cat (see earlier post).

Onto the last of my stories. About 2 months ago, one of our teens had a tooth pulled. Come to find out, about a month later, she stated that she had put the tooth under her pillow for 5 DAYS waiting for the tooth fairy. I felt so bad when she told me that. I felt like a slack parent. I am still learning. However, one of our grade schoolers got her tooth pulled two days ago. That evening I had several things to do in town without the kids and when I got back and tucked her into bed, she said, "I know what you were doing in town tonight. You were shopping for my tooth fairy present. I know how the tooth fairy works." She was so excited. I remember wondering how long it would take her to get to sleep and being confident that I would not repeat my last failure. The next morning I woke her up and as she is getting her stuff ready to pile into the van to head to the bus stop, I see her put her tooth in her book bag to show the class. The first thought that entered my head...I FORGOT...AGAIN!! I felt so bad. So last night I set an alarm for late so I would know she was asleep and remember this time. I put the money under her pillow (fortunately she sleeps very close to the wall) but didn't try to hard to find the tooth (I really didn't want to wake her up). However, she didn't mention anything this morning. I haven't checked her bed yet to see if she found the money. I guess she'll find it soon enough.

IT'S A BOY!

Lets see...what all has happened recently...oh...I saw both the Miley Cyrus movie and High School Musical 3 in their entirety. So that was exciting. Gotta love having girls in the house. What else has happened...oh yeah! We had our ultrasound and are having a BOY!!! Unless we find another name that strikes us his name will be Samuel Owen. We have been trying to post about this for awhile but life keeps getting in the way. But we are so excited. Jen has been feeling him and getting bigger but before I saw the ultrasound there was nothing tangible that I could grab onto about our having a child. It was just a happy idea. Once we saw his head and his foot and his...little Sammy...the whole thing became so real. The day we found out we went into town to celebrate and bought him a little Rock Star shirt. It's great, it has a guitar on it and everything. Hey any kid of ours is gonna have to get into music young.
In other news one of our teen girls moved out and 10 year old twin sisters moved in. We had finally found a set of rules that we could stand by and enforce that were directed toward teenage girls. Then we ended up with a house dominated by youngster's. Back to the drawing board. Instead of dealing with more emotionally charged teenage issues we are now spending most of our time getting the kids to be quiet and stop running in the house. Back to the basics. It still takes a lot of patience but we feel that it is less draining. It is mind blowing the things that the young kids that are on campus know and don't know. Sometimes they don't know even the most basic aspects of personal hygiene. They do know about gang-banging and having sex. Some of the youngest kids are coming on campus having had sexual experiences and knowing how to cut cocaine. It makes me so angry. It also makes me determined to be the best father to my son that I can be. My wife is currently sitting on the couch stroking one of our girl's hair because she is scared to go to bed. We have no clue what went on in this girl's life, or most of our kid's lives for that matter, but all we can do is try to be there for them in the little ways. It's strange that Jen and I are having the most beautiful experience of our lives amidst the ugly mess of this place. I've found that that is how God works. But he redeems the mess while at the same time creating new beauty. Speaking of new beauty here are some pictures of our kid. He's handsome like his papa if I do say so myself.

School has started again for the kids and so we are now trying to get back into the swing of things with that schedule. Jen and I have also spent a lot of time reflecting these last couple weeks on our time here so far. We feel that we have done some things very well but obviously there are other things we need a great deal of improvement on. It is becoming increasingly stranger to realize that we as messy human beings are supposed to try to help other messy human beings. On paper it seems considerably easier to do what we have to do here. But when you mix in pride, different values, etc. it becomes much less clear what is the right thing to do in each and every situation that pops up on a day to day basis. We have had several kids come in and out of our care in the last couple months. It is hard to constantly be in transition and try to have a somewhat consistent family dynamic. We are trying to get to know the kids and they are trying to get to know us, and most importantly trust us. Things get hard.
Jen and I love our kids so much and this has been such a growing process for us. For me I have finally been able to accept God's answers to some of my faith questions that have been haunting me for some time now and that has been a total blessing. Of course now I am dealing with different questions. Such is life.
We had a good summer. I went to my first rodeo and heard some live bluegrass. And Jen and I got to head back to Portland for awhile and hang out with family and friends. It was amazing but also reminded us of how much we miss it there. We of course told our family about our little alien invader (in a couple of weeks we get to see our baby on the ultrasound and find out whether it is a boy or a girl.) Funny enough while in Portland I got to see a couple of North Carolina bands that I had wanted to see and that was one of the best concerts I have been to.
The kids of course got bored over the summer but they got to go on several really cool trips and we tried to take them on little outings every once in awhile. It's so easy to get caught up in doing the little appointments and miss out on doing the things that will really make their lives better.
After several hard days, right now (and I do mean right now, we'll see how I feel later) I am feeling very at peace amidst all the chaos we have dealt with as of late. Below are some pictures from our summer.

View from a hike taken early August.

The friendly praying mantis that crawled all over Michael and I (it like my face and hair)

Blueridge Parkway (I took this picture while someone was driving so it gives the basic idea of what we are surrounded by).

Michael going down Sliding Rock...it looked SO fun (was told I couldn't go down as I was about 7 weeks prego...perhaps next summer)

16 weeks Prego

UB & Daddy

Walking the Greenway

This butterfly is AMAZING...I wish I could have gotten a picture of it with it's wings open, the colors are beautiful!!

Alien Invader

Well, we have been on vaca for the last week and are loving the down time. It is amazing to be able to relax. Before leaving one of our kids was discharged. It was sad but we are praying that she will do better where she is now. After leaving for our time off, we found out that another girl was moved in so the tally is back to 4 girls (3 teens) and one baby boy. Life is going to be crazy when we return. We love it though. Life has been so crazy over the summer. We have been trying to find fun things to do but when you have five kids (and for a little over a month we had six) who vote on what they want to do someone always loses. Recently a couple of our kids got in a yelling match over thumb tacks...it was actually quite comical after everyone calmed down and apologized. God has been so good to us. AFter all this shifting around we also found out in June that we will be having another kid moving in only this one will be our own...I'M PREGNANT! Our first child is due February 2. We are so excited and yet have a healthy fear. We love the kids we have in our house but it has really shown us both the commitment and time it takes to care for them well. We have seen so many horrible situations with the kids we have that we feel a little more prepared. But, you can never be truly prepared for a child. We will be hearing the heartbeat for the first time on Monday and the ultrasound is scheduled for September 22. I can't wait to see our little one. I am so excited to begin this new chapter in our marriage. My stomach is starting to pop out and it is amazing to realize that in a few more weeks I'll be able to feel the little one moving around. Michael has been so amazing since we found out. He has allowed me time for naps and breaks. It has been amazing to see him protecting me and the new little one. The Lord is so good, I have had no prego symptoms other than exhaustion. I don't know how I would have been able to get through the last few months if I was dealing with morning sickness. I feel so blessed. We had decided to simply open ourselves up to the possibility of having kids and within the month I was pregnant. I was so concerned that it would take forever. I was very wrong. Michael's response was amazing...he just looked at the test and said, "what does this mean?" I told him I was pregnant and he just laughed and had a huge smile on his face for a couple of minutes. It is finally starting to really sink in that we will have a little one of our own.

Our New Ride...

We are rockin’ the Toyota Sienna. That's how we role. We were rocking the Ford Windstar but it decided to drop a transmission. It was a lemon. We just bought it and it fell apart on us. We do a lot of driving around here, in the first three or so months we put 7,000 miles on each of our vehicles. So we decided we needed to get a more quality vehicle. I never thought I would like a minivan but we have been enjoying this one.
In other news…It’s a boy! No we did not have a baby. We did get our first male foster kid…well…our first male foster kid that can say more than blibble blabble da da da. It has been a nice change for me. He's a good kid. He was actually in another foster home here when we first arrived back in January. He was one of the first kids we met and he helped us unpack. He was able to leave foster care for awhile but now he is back. It's unfortunate that he had to return but I am glad to have him in our house.
In our last blog I was a little rough on our girls. Please understand it was mostly in jest. Yes, it’s a little hard to be surrounded by girl drama all the time but the girls that we have are really amazing. It is awesome to see who they have become considering what they have come from. They are fighters.
We actually have six kids in total now. We are normally only supposed to have five but due to an on campus situation we ended up with another girl. It’s a very full house and adds an interesting dynamic but we have been having a lot of fun with our kids. Since it is now the summer we have been trying to think of interesting things to do. I got my North Carolina fishing license and an Ugly Stick fishing rod so we have been going on a couple late night fishing trips. So far we have only caught a couple of small ones but it has been a lot of fun. A couple nights ago we were out on the lake until after 3:00 am fishing. It's very peaceful. And last weekend we went to sliding rock. Here is a picture of me sliding down the rock.
Okay that's not really me. It was actually really busy the day we went. We had to wait for 20 minutes for a 30 second ride. It's kind of lame waiting in line for nature. We'll have to go back on a weekday.
We are heading back to Portland at the end of July/early August. We have our tickets all set and everything. Now that all the details are coming together we are getting more and more anxious to head home. We are working on lists of things to do and people to see.

From my backyard…

Okay this picture is not exactly from my backyard but it is pretty darn close. Recently, I have been so caught up in the day-to-day business of cleaning, cooking, appointments and playing taxi that I have not taken advantage of the abundant nature that is around me. Yesterday I was getting really restless and it appeared that my dog was feeling the same way and so I finally decided to get out of the house and go with U.B. for a hike. Right outside campus there is Old N.C 105, a gravel road that leads into the mountains. Off of 105 there are countless little trails that are perfect for hiking. This could be a major tourist attraction; luckily it is not, so the locals mostly get to enjoy it. The road itself is so rocky that it can cause major damage to your vehicle if you spend too much time driving it. We hiked up a trail that branched off to a couple of lookouts, one of which is pictured. The other one was is set up specifically to watch hawks. It was pretty amazing. I had been so stressed out by all the little annoyances of life but all that melted away as I took in the breathtaking view around me. U.B. was a great hiking partner as I had hoped he would be. He still has the puppy attention span, he has to sniff EVERYTHING, but he was up for jumping off of rocks and climbing hills and then just sitting with me as I enjoyed the view from the top.
I call myself a poser outdoorsman and a wannabe naturalist. I have always dreamed of spending more time out in nature and learning about it but have never spent near enough time actually doing it. We live in the perfect place to experience nature. There are the amazing mountains and trails but there is also plenty of nature right around our house to explore and learn about. We regularly see deer bounding around campus. I have never seen so many different types of bugs, spiders, etc. Last night we saw our first lightening bug. It was awesome. It’s little butt was like a bright green LED light.
There are plenty of bugs and animals around that are less desirable. The bees and wasps are plentiful and they are huge. They are almost the size of hummingbirds. They could head butt you and leave a bruise. There are plenty of ticks, earwigs, and pincher bugs that make there way into our house. Today one of our girl’s school bus ran over a rattlesnake. There are also cottonmouths and copperheads around. Occasionally a bear has made it onto campus (though not since we have been here).
So there are scary animals all around us, but there is an animal that is more vicious than all of these. She is the teenage girl. They mostly attack each other but just being around their savage nature is enough to leave you feeling wounded. On the rare occasion that I dare confront one of these dangerous beasts, say to tell her that she needs to cut the attitude, she usually turns on the waterworks and brings up her period. This is a low blow for which there is no counter attack. Of course the girls can be and often are amazing. We have been blessed by having them. But recently there have been some major issues and we have had a few major struggles with these lovely ladies.
A little while ago I went to the store and bought Jen a dozen roses. I have bought Jen roses several times and more times then not I have had a conversation with the female checker that goes something like this:
“Ah, roses. What are you in trouble for?”
“I’m not in trouble, I just love my wife.”
“Right. You know that deep down you are in trouble. Men are always in trouble. You did something wrong.”

After a conversation like this I almost feel like I should just give the roses to the bitter checker lady because she obviously needs something to change her views on men. But I shared this story to say that I was not buying roses for Jen because of something that I did wrong. I was buying them for her because of everything that she does right. She has been so amazing at dealing with the savage beast that is the teenage girl. I am often frustrated because there are many things that I simply cannot do because of my maleness so Jen is of course left with so much of the ugly work of working with the girls. I am excited about being here because of all the natural beauty that surrounds me but I am more excited to be here because I am here with my beautiful wife. I have been able to watch her grow and become stronger and stronger and I have been blessed by it deeply.

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk

Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk

One of our girls has said several times that she has to “educate” me on music. Of course she wants to educate me on genres of music that I have intentionally remained ignorant of. One shining jewel of an example is the above song by Trace Atkins. This song is one of the many gems that have been on rotation in our house as of late. Lord have mercy indeed. The girls always want to listen to either Country or Rap. I listen to some Country and some Rap but anyone who knows me could probably not see me enjoying listening to songs about “getting sweaty on the dance floor.” Get jiggy with it…or…something. Just a few months ago I felt that my musical tastes were relatively cutting edge. Now apparently they have been relegated into the category of “old man music.” It happened so fast. Oh well, I suppose I will have to carry on somehow. As I write the baby was able to crawl over to the CD player, pull himself up and turn down the volume on my music. EVERYBODY is a critic.

long time no blog

It has been a long time since our last post. I guess instead of reflecting on life we have been spending our time trying to simply survive. We have had a rough last few weeks. Today, we (along with our supervisors) had to make the choice to have one of our girls detained by the DJJ (Department of Juvenile Justice). She will probably eventually be hospitalized. It was hard to do but we felt very at peace with the decision. She simply needs more intensive care than we can provide at our facility. Her behaviors were extreme to say the least and we had to think of the welfare of the other kids in our care. We hope that she felt the love of God in our house during the few months that she was with us.
There have been several intense situations that we have found ourselves in since we have been here. We have felt very blessed by the support that we have here. Just when we are at our lowest someone is there to make us find the comedy in the situation or to give us just the advice or comfort that we need to make it through another day and feel replenished. Life here is very hard but there is no doubt in my mind that we are living life to it’s fullest. So much of our time is spent on building relationships. It leaves me in awe to think of the community we have found here.
There have been so many moments amidst the recent mess that have made us laugh. Considering the kids we serve they are kind of dirty though. Not really appropriate for blog posting. Ultimately today we feel that our house will finally be a place of peace again. We will not be consumed with damage control. Because of the recent changes we will be able to focus on building meaningful relationships with the kids we have which is why we are here. We don’t know how long we will have the current kids that are in our care. For all we know it is very possible that we could have a completely different house of kids in the next couple months. I have constantly been reminded of the reality of how little time we have to make an impact on these lives. Hopefully our next blog will follow after considerably less time than this one.

9-5 vs. 24/7

Well, so much has been happening lately that it has me thinking about how different life is when your job is your life. It is strange being at work all day long, it almost feels like I don't work at all. However, the last few days especially have reminded me that I DO work. A day or two before Easter I thought I was getting really bad allergies. Turns out I'm pretty sure it was a cold. To most people this doesn't seem like a big deal. It sucks but doesn't really affect life too terribly much. If I were working a normal job, I would probably have taken a sick day or two and then started back up...However, I no longer have that choice. I don't normally worry about getting others sick. I try very hard to stay away from people but I have learned that when you have a baby in the house, you have to be EXTRA careful...and apparently I wasn't. On Tuesday the baby had a temp of 101 and we got a little worried. I took him to the doctor on Wednesday with his mom and we found out that (praise the Lord) it is only a cold and he will be fine. He has not ran a temp since that first day. This doesn't sound that bad, however, add that I was only able to get an appointment at a time when I had to pick up one kid from school (an hour away) and pick up the other from work (no choice but to pick her up early) and go home (a half hour away) to pick up the baby for his appointment and it makes a CRAZY day. It was all spaced out within a couple of hours. It was a fun whirlwind. However, this was not the end of this lovely day of WORK. The mother of the baby decided she wanted to cook us all dinner. So as she was cooking she bent over and began to have some pain. This seemed fairly severe and possibly appendicitis so I decided to take her to the emergency room. (she was still able to make us a WONDERFUL steak dinner...just in case you were wondering). After 2 hours of waiting the doctor was able to see her and told her that they could not find a reason for the pain so to call her doctor the next day if it continued. It was 11:45 by the time we got home. When I woke her up this morning she was still in pain so yet another doctors appointment was made. This appointment showed that she needed to have an ultrasound, however, they were unable to do one until tomorrow morning. SO, guess what I got to do the next morning?? Now, most people do not have to worry about taking one kid to the emergency room while the other stays home with the other parent. The perks of my job include a child that is very much a hypochondriac (we think) or just an attention seeker. So, she went on a hike the day after our visit to the ER and came home stating that she hurt her arm (we have many reasons to believe that she did but that it was nowhere near as severe as she stated it was) so we had to explain that we would not be rushing her to the emergency room. Every once in a while, I get slightly frustrated that I have to make several trips into town a half hour a way for different things that pop up. But it's amazing when I think of what I get to do and the way that God is able to work through me and these kids. The girl I took to the hospital the other night, came up to me the next evening and asked for a hug before she went to bed and told me that she loved me. I truly do love our "kids". I feel blessed by them and very much stretched by them. They have been encouraging, discouraging, manipulative, loving, caring, frustrating, disrespectful, rude, polite and so many other things. While working 40 hours a week allows you to leave work at work (most of the time), I don't think I would want to go back to it for a while. I love it here. I love that I am blessed to work with my husband all day long. I love that we have been blessed with these kids and a wonderful (still knawing) puppy. I love that I have time to take a nap (some of the time) and just read. Thank you for your many prayers.



PS. Easter was amazing. Most of the kids had a wonderful time. One of them stated that her previous 2 Easters had been horrible but this one made up for it. I was able to cook some amazing food (thank you Mom for the recipes) and spend the day with my new family.

**Pictures to come of UB playing with another puppy his size from today. He is definitely still a lover not a fighter :>

Happy 18th Birthday Erick!!!!!!!!

A few nights ago Jen was listening to the CD that I made a while back. A song came on that made me smile. I wrote this song about moving to the other side of the world. At the time that I wrote it Jen and I were considering moving to South Korea to teach English. The song was about how moving away was something that we felt we had to do but that we would still miss home. Well, we didn’t make it to the other side of the world but we made it to the other side of the country. We do miss home. In the song there was a line about praying for rain, of course because it would remind us of good old Portland, Oregon. No need to pray for rain in North Carolina. North Carolina has provided plenty of rain since we have been here. When we were thinking of moving here everyone told us that it never rains in North Carolina. This is a lie. It has been flooding our yard all day. There has been plenty of thunder and lightning as well. But it does remind me of home and so it hasn’t been all that bad. Although our planned trip to the lake today was definitely cancelled.
As Jen has said in past blogs we have adjusted here quite well. But every once in awhile something reminds me of Portland and makes me miss it deeply. I’ve seen the Schwan’s truck every once in a while and it reminds me of Jen’s family. Soon after arriving at our new North Carolina I also had a dream that we were hanging out with them and it hit me that I wasn’t going to be able to do that quite as easily anymore. My mom just got a dog and I want to go over to her house with our new dog but I can’t. It was also my brothers eighteenth birthday today and I had to wish him happy birthday over a voicemail message. I also heard a song online that I had sung and played guitar on for a Portland friend. It made me miss all my Portland friends a great deal and miss all of the music that we had played together. It’s hard to see them all going on with their lives and music with out me but of course I wish them the very best and I am very proud of them all.
Things have been going well here. The kids are on Easter/Spring break now and so we will have to figure out things for them to do all day long for the next week. It’ll be fun because there are times that their attention spans last about 30 seconds before they are ready to do something new. I’ve heard the phrase “I’m bored” so many times already and they have been on break for one day. I have started to appreciate my mom and parents in general in an entirely new way. Although they sometimes try our patience we have been really blessed with the kids that we have. They keep us on our toes but they are great kids. Some of the other foster parents have had some pretty intense struggles with their foster kids recently so we feel very blessed to have the family we have for the time being. A scary thing happened with our foster baby last night. He was in his high chair and was able to reach out and knock a plate off of the table. We looked down and thought he had cut open his hands with plate shards. It looked like his hands were covered in blood. Of course it was only ketchup. But for that moment we were terrified. The baby was terrified as well. The poor little guy was shaking. Today went much better for him. He is taking his first steps while holding onto things. Today he was also able to climb into a box.
U.B. got into an epic puppy battle with the boxer/lab puppy across the way. It was awesome. Up to this point U.B. had only been able to play with dogs much larger and older than him. The boxer was more of an equal match. I was impressed; U.B. did well. Usually U.B. is more of a lover than a fighter. By that I mean that when coming across another dog (or human leg for that matter) his go to move is usually mounting. They grow up too fast. Really they do. I can’t wait until we can nip that activity in the bud if you know what I mean. Yup, we are going to cut that habit short as soon as we can. Recently the girls discovered a way to deal with U.B.’s chewing, his other ugly habit. If you want to hold U.B. you can hold him in your arms like a baby and hold his rawhide bone in his mouth like a baby bottle. It’s pretty hilarious. Unfortunately at the rate he is growing this activity will probably not last us more than a week or two. U.B. keeps on trying to crawl through chairs and things like he was able to just several days ago. It’s not working like it used to. For him the whole house is shrinking and he has no clue why.
Well the kids are finally in bed (we had a late movie night) and so I am going to take this opportunity to do the same. Another full day starts in just a few hours. Blessings on you all, we love you and miss you.

Time of Reflection

Well, Michael was sweet enough to take the kids to an event at the gym tonight so I get to take a rare moment to breath while the kids are gone. It seems to strange to be in a house all by myself. I am loving the quiet. I have found that even when you have a house full of kids (even while they are at school), it never seems to quiet down. Lately it has felt as if we are consitently running from one appointment to the next. I feel like a taxi cab between transporting one child to school (35 miles away) and picking up others for appointments. While life is exhausting I feel so blessed to be working with Michael. I love my job. I love that I get to stay home (most of the time) and train the dog and spend time with Michael. We have been so busy that it almost feels like we don't get a whole lot of time to spend together but he quickly reminded me that if we were not doing this, we would be working 40 hours a week apart from each other. I think I prefer this quite a bit more. God has been so good to us. He has continued to grow us together and we are learning so much about parenting as well as good communication. I think the biggest frustration is getting this little (although not so little anymore) puppy to quit chewing on EVERYONE. I no longer have a pair of jeans that do not have holes in them. I was kind of in need of new jeans anyway so I guess he just helped me along in the process :>

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and it was a little cloudy. However, it was EXTREMELY windy and cold (my favorite weather). It was so amazing driving home this morning after dropping off one of the kids at school that we are blessed to be surrounded by so much beauty. The mountains that surround us look blue most of the day. It is strange but it is actuallly supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow. Fortunately it will be too warm to stick but the school district will still close if they see any snow whatsoever. It is strange how much different things are run here. The kids have Good Friday off of school and rather then a spring break they get an Easter break next week. It is nice to see how beliefs come into play here because they seem able to acknowledge them without condemnation. I hope y'all (yes, the southern vocab is sinking in) have a wonderful Easter Sunday.

Last night my dog peed in front of one of the wealthiest women in the nation. She is an old family friend of our coworker Zach and he brought her to our campus to tell her about the organization and hopefully to receive some kind of donation. She is a very kindhearted woman that gives of her blessings generously. She also brought her rocket scientist boyfriend. Zach brought them to our house so that she could meet one of the foster families "in action." It was of course important to make a good impression. When they came over we had just gotten home. They rang the doorbell just as I was getting our dog out of the kennel. He ran to the door with ample husky energy abounding. As I opened the door the pup ran out to see uncle Zach and almost piddled on his pants. "I'm wearing Dockers stain resistant pants but I don't think that those are the kind of stains that they are talking about," Zach commented. U.B. then waddled to the dirt in front of our porch and let forth a flood of urine. At least he made it outside for the most part. Luckily our guests were all dog people and they loved him to death.

Later in the evening I realized why I love our job. Sometimes it's easy to get frustrated with all the meetings and driving and drama. But last night my job was to give a beautiful little baby boy a bath (you have to love the fresh baby smell), and play with sidewalk chalk with one of our girls. I also attempted hopscotch. After I finished drawing a goofy face on our porch I just sat there enjoying the pink and purple sunset and the mountains that surround us. U.B sat by my feet chewing on a stick. These were holy moments. These are the kind of moments that still convince me that there is a God amidst all the pain in this world. One reason that we came here was to get away from the daily grind and enjoy the life that God has blessed us with. There are elements of this job that are still grind-like; I don’t think that can be avoided with any career. But here we are also blessed with community and relationship. We have already seen lives starting to change for the better and hope in hopeless situations. We’ve only been here a couple months. I look forward to seeing the amazing things that will continue to happen.

Journey

For the last couple days the two oldest of our girls have been trying to schedule a hair appointment to do some highlights and cuts. I think they look just fine as they are but of course my opinion would not matter at all. I've been thinking about getting my hair done as well. Maybe I will cut it short, spike it and bleach it. Then maybe I will finally reach my goal of being "man pretty." On second thought I doubt that kind of hairstyle would go well with my beard. I'm growing it out. If I don't get tired of it and if Jen doesn't cut it while I sleep it may reach Jerry Garcia type proportions.
In more important news we think we have found a church. It is called Journey Church and it is a new plant that just opened a few weeks ago. It is a little flashy for us. They have enough PowerPoint’s and movie clips going during the service to cause an epileptic seizure. But we definitely feel like it is the best fit for us that we have found so far. Although we wanted the worship to be slightly more contemplative and less electric we feel like we will be happy at Journey.
We have visited a lot of churches. We visited one church that was actually pretty hateful and bigoted. That was good times. It’s always hard looking for a church because you feel like you are picking apart every congregation you visit. Aside from the hateful church most that we have visited have been great in their own way. We have just not felt like we would fit there or that the foster kids that we have and will have in the future would fit there. It takes a special kind of church to be able to provide support for some sometimes very rebellious teenagers. We have been trying to focus on where God would have us instead of finding a church full of people that are just like us, or a church that fits our every “need.” The church cultures in the south are definitely very different than in Portland (as we expected), but I’m sure that God will use the differences to grow us.
In the recent sermon series the Journey Church Pastor has been focusing on the last 24 hours of Christ’s life so of course there has been some very powerful stuff discussed. The pastor has some very good insights into the characters of the Jesus narrative. So far our kids have really appreciated the church and so that has been a blessing to see. We have found a place to serve, a home, a dog, and a church. All the major things that we have been looking for have been found. Now the next step is figuring out all the things in our new life that we weren’t necessarily looking for. We’ll keep you posted.

On Pet Sounds and Baby Sounds

Today has been a good day. The organization we work for has a thrift store and yesterday while there I found a mint copy of “The Pet Sounds Sessions” by The Beach Boys for $3.00. Usually it is $63.00. I almost squealed like a little girl right there in the middle of the store. “The Pet Sounds Sessions” is a compilation of different takes and studio recordings that didn’t end up being on the original record. It also has a couple of booklets with information on the recording process. Brian Wilson is brilliant. One of the booklets discusses how “Pet Sounds” was meant to be a very spiritual and healing record. Brian and Carl Wilson would pray during recording sessions. Through lyrically simple, poignant love songs Brian Wilson explores hope, love, God, and feeling lost in this world. Anyhoo today I have been listening to it nonstop and playing with my little pet. Every once in awhile U.B. will look at the speakers, tilting his head in curiosity.
Today has been a much-needed day of rest for Jen and I. This week has been extremely busy. Jen and I have felt like we haven’t had much time to breath. Living with preteen and teenage girls is quite a recipe for drama.
The only negative thing that happened today was this morning when I threw out my back a little when I freaked out at the puppy for pooing on the floor. I kid you not. I had just taken the little bugger out. I didn’t want to kill the pup so I kind of internalized my anger and shook my arms in rage. Now my neck and upper back have been killing me.
We were able to read a bit today, then Jen left with the girls to do some shopping. Now they’re back and the older girls are all watching “Dirty Dancing.” This movie makes me throw up in my mouth a little but it taught me one of the most important lessons of my life. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
In other news our youngest foster kid has discovered what I call his “awful voice.” He squeals at the exact pitch that makes me want to drill my eardrums out. Then of course I wouldn’t be able to listen to the Beach Boys so I guess I will leave my eardrums intact.

Crying Wolf

This is U.B. A coworker gave us this little Border Collie/Husky mix. His name is taken from the movie Uncle Buck. Jen's family American Eskimo that died recently was named Buck. In the country the dogs run free, are fruitful and multiply so we got a free dog out of it. He is of course extremely busy attempting to manically chew on everything. He is basically like having another kid. But the night after we got him I was very stressed out. Trying to take care of the wife, the kids and a new puppy was exhausting and I had just had a conversation with a coworker that made me feel bad. I was questioning whether getting the pup was a good idea even though we had wanted one for a long time. While I was cooking dinner he came over, plopped down and rested his head on my foot. The stress left for the rest of the night. Other than the chewing thing he is a very good dog. He is basically potty trained and he does very well in his kennel. He loves everyone. We have been introducing him to dogs on campus and he is a very confident pup. He tried taking on a German Shepherd mix more than three times his size. He is very vocal as Huskies usually are . He makes all kinds of honks and moans and whines. It's pretty entertaining.

I was excited to get him because he looks a lot like a Border Collie mix that I had in Junior High. I had to give her up because I did not know how to take care of her. It killed me. So this time we are working very hard at training U.B. and making sure he gets his exercise. It has been good to go on walks with our foster kids and to teach them a bit about taking care of a dog. He is a difficult pup but I figure if I am not able to take care of a stubborn dog than I don't know how I will take care of five crazy kids. He has been a good test preparing me for much harder tests to come.

-Michael

U.B. also LOVES to play with ice...I (Jen) could watch him kick it (and then chase it) all over the kitchen floor!

On Roadkill, etc...

I ran over a cat the other day. There was nothing I could have done. I have no clue where it ended up. I got out to try and find it but had no luck. I also tried to locate the owner of the cat but again I was unsuccessful. It was probably just a stray cat that got bored and attempted an ill-fated game of chicken with a Ford Windstar Minivan. Unfortunately I have a feeling that road kill will be a larger part of our lives living out here in the country. Last night another cat attempted the exact same thing at the exact same turn. This kitty had better luck. I have mentioned the scenic grandeur that is all around us here but I have failed to mention that we are also surrounded by dead animals on every street we travel. Thank God I’m a country boy.
Other than the thump, thump issue we had with the cat we have had a pretty good week. It was a busy and stressful one though. We got a new girl in our house bringing our total to three kids. She had some temporary health issues that kept Jen hopping trying to provide for her physical needs. She is very quiet so it has been hard to find ways to relate to her (and hear her). She seems to be adjusting to our home well though. We got enough snow the other day to have a brief snowball fight. I lobbed a few misses at her and she lobbed a direct ice-ball hit in the one spot that drops every man to a quivering fetal ball. I didn’t want to make her feel bad so I played through the pain and kept her giggling while I cried on the inside.
I have a feeling that we are going to have to do something like that very often: keep going even though we are dealing with something that hurts a lot. I went for a brief walk with the guy that recruited us here and he had some wisdom to impart as we are starting to really enter into these kid’s lives. He told us that we are going to hear all of the hard things that these kids have gone through and for a while it is going to hurt a great deal. As we do this job longer we will learn ways to cope more effectively. Often we will find ourselves using humor to deal with things that aren’t really funny. It seems strange at first but I see that it is a big part of how the long timers make it in this profession. Ironically a bit of hardness is required to love effectively in this environment.
He also discussed the difficulty of sometimes seeing God working miracles and creating beauty in the messes that are these kid’s lives, and sometimes feeling like these kids have been completely ignored by God. There is definitely a tension in having faith and living in the world as it is.
Although we see this job getting harder and harder the more that we get to know and love these kids we also feel excited to be here. Even after everything that Jen had to deal with this week last night she was talking about how much she loves it here. I am so proud of her. So far she has had the hardest work to do and she has been amazing. For me being here feels like the most right thing that I have done since I asked Jen to marry me. We continue to appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

This weekend we got to spend some time with a couple that will be foster parents and our neighbors starting this June. It was amazing how much we had in common. They even grew up in a church with Brethren roots. They were passionate about serving the kids here. They had a lot of great ideas for our foster community, some of which Jen and I have been thinking and praying about for a while. We are excited to have them here. I brought them around to meet a couple of the other foster parents. We went from house to house and heard a lot of stories and advice. I remember the first time that Jen made the same trek a couple of months ago. It was pretty overwhelming. But it seemed like the new couple enjoyed it. I did too. I had heard some of what was said but there was a lot that I hadn't heard. Even after the many days that I have been working here (less than a month) apparently I still have a thing or two to learn.
One thing I heard about was that we live right near where "Last of the Mohicans" was filmed. The fort scenes were filmed on Lake James just a few minutes from our campus. Some later scenes were filmed on Table Rock nearby.
We also went with our two foster kids and the new couple to one of the local state parks. It was a much longer drive than had been expected so we didn't get to actually hike as much as we would have liked but it was still beautiful. We got to see one of the lower falls and the water was freezing into these amazing icicles. Since there was freezing you can probably guess that it was a very cold hike. The younger of our foster kids had a red little nose and rosy cheeks and it was one of the most adorable things I have ever seen. I look forward to going back when we get our dog and hiking those trails some more. It was an amazing weekend. We feel very blessed to be here. It is a great community with many unique and caring people, soon to blessed by two more in June. We look forward to seeing what God has for us next.

God is Good

I began this blog unsure of what I was going to write about. I started thinking about what God has been doing through us in just this short time. We have had a couple of kids for the past two weeks. It has been an adjustment, but a good one. I am learning how to be a mom; how to plan meals, make one trip to town for everything rather than 20 (I am so used to having a grocery store across the street), be a taxi cab, and be firm (my biggest struggle). I love it though. I feel like God has truly blessed Michael and I during our time here. My greatest fear in moving was that I would miss my family so much that I wouldn't be able to fully function and be present. However, the Lord has carried me through the struggles with homesickness (although I really haven't had many). As I have gotten to know the kids in our house, almost daily I hear one say that they can't wait to go home. I understand that desire. I felt it many times growing up. Last night one of our kids became extremely upset and frustrated about some of our rules. I tried to keep my cool but felt frustrated and just wanted to make her understand why this rule is important. After a frustrating conversation, she went to her room and I let her cool off for a bit. After praying with Michael and discussing what had happened, I went into her room to tell her that we loved her. When I entered the room, she apologized for her attitude and shared her struggles and anxieties. It was amazing how the Lord worked. I was able ot pray with her and cry with her. It is amazing when you are able to talk with someone and feel such a connection. I felt like God was in the room. When I left the room, I gave her a hug and told her we loved her and her response was "I love you too. Thank you for making me laugh and taking my mind off of what is going on." It was such an amazing blessing to see how God worked through such a difficult situation and to hear words of appreciation. I feel like God blessed me so much in that short half hour. God is so good! I know that this may not be a common response with all of our kids and I have a feeling that this was probably a very rare case, however, I am praising God for showing me that He is working through us. My prayer is that we will continue to bring our kids before Him on a daily basis and that we will see even the smallest of successes. I feel so blessed to be here and see Him working in me as well as in those around us. I feel that this is exactly where God wants us right now and that our strength and patience come from Him alone. "Always rejoice, constantly pray, in everything give thanks. For this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18