IT'S A BOY!

Lets see...what all has happened recently...oh...I saw both the Miley Cyrus movie and High School Musical 3 in their entirety. So that was exciting. Gotta love having girls in the house. What else has happened...oh yeah! We had our ultrasound and are having a BOY!!! Unless we find another name that strikes us his name will be Samuel Owen. We have been trying to post about this for awhile but life keeps getting in the way. But we are so excited. Jen has been feeling him and getting bigger but before I saw the ultrasound there was nothing tangible that I could grab onto about our having a child. It was just a happy idea. Once we saw his head and his foot and his...little Sammy...the whole thing became so real. The day we found out we went into town to celebrate and bought him a little Rock Star shirt. It's great, it has a guitar on it and everything. Hey any kid of ours is gonna have to get into music young.
In other news one of our teen girls moved out and 10 year old twin sisters moved in. We had finally found a set of rules that we could stand by and enforce that were directed toward teenage girls. Then we ended up with a house dominated by youngster's. Back to the drawing board. Instead of dealing with more emotionally charged teenage issues we are now spending most of our time getting the kids to be quiet and stop running in the house. Back to the basics. It still takes a lot of patience but we feel that it is less draining. It is mind blowing the things that the young kids that are on campus know and don't know. Sometimes they don't know even the most basic aspects of personal hygiene. They do know about gang-banging and having sex. Some of the youngest kids are coming on campus having had sexual experiences and knowing how to cut cocaine. It makes me so angry. It also makes me determined to be the best father to my son that I can be. My wife is currently sitting on the couch stroking one of our girl's hair because she is scared to go to bed. We have no clue what went on in this girl's life, or most of our kid's lives for that matter, but all we can do is try to be there for them in the little ways. It's strange that Jen and I are having the most beautiful experience of our lives amidst the ugly mess of this place. I've found that that is how God works. But he redeems the mess while at the same time creating new beauty. Speaking of new beauty here are some pictures of our kid. He's handsome like his papa if I do say so myself.

School has started again for the kids and so we are now trying to get back into the swing of things with that schedule. Jen and I have also spent a lot of time reflecting these last couple weeks on our time here so far. We feel that we have done some things very well but obviously there are other things we need a great deal of improvement on. It is becoming increasingly stranger to realize that we as messy human beings are supposed to try to help other messy human beings. On paper it seems considerably easier to do what we have to do here. But when you mix in pride, different values, etc. it becomes much less clear what is the right thing to do in each and every situation that pops up on a day to day basis. We have had several kids come in and out of our care in the last couple months. It is hard to constantly be in transition and try to have a somewhat consistent family dynamic. We are trying to get to know the kids and they are trying to get to know us, and most importantly trust us. Things get hard.
Jen and I love our kids so much and this has been such a growing process for us. For me I have finally been able to accept God's answers to some of my faith questions that have been haunting me for some time now and that has been a total blessing. Of course now I am dealing with different questions. Such is life.
We had a good summer. I went to my first rodeo and heard some live bluegrass. And Jen and I got to head back to Portland for awhile and hang out with family and friends. It was amazing but also reminded us of how much we miss it there. We of course told our family about our little alien invader (in a couple of weeks we get to see our baby on the ultrasound and find out whether it is a boy or a girl.) Funny enough while in Portland I got to see a couple of North Carolina bands that I had wanted to see and that was one of the best concerts I have been to.
The kids of course got bored over the summer but they got to go on several really cool trips and we tried to take them on little outings every once in awhile. It's so easy to get caught up in doing the little appointments and miss out on doing the things that will really make their lives better.
After several hard days, right now (and I do mean right now, we'll see how I feel later) I am feeling very at peace amidst all the chaos we have dealt with as of late. Below are some pictures from our summer.

View from a hike taken early August.

The friendly praying mantis that crawled all over Michael and I (it like my face and hair)

Blueridge Parkway (I took this picture while someone was driving so it gives the basic idea of what we are surrounded by).

Michael going down Sliding Rock...it looked SO fun (was told I couldn't go down as I was about 7 weeks prego...perhaps next summer)

16 weeks Prego

UB & Daddy

Walking the Greenway

This butterfly is AMAZING...I wish I could have gotten a picture of it with it's wings open, the colors are beautiful!!

Alien Invader

Well, we have been on vaca for the last week and are loving the down time. It is amazing to be able to relax. Before leaving one of our kids was discharged. It was sad but we are praying that she will do better where she is now. After leaving for our time off, we found out that another girl was moved in so the tally is back to 4 girls (3 teens) and one baby boy. Life is going to be crazy when we return. We love it though. Life has been so crazy over the summer. We have been trying to find fun things to do but when you have five kids (and for a little over a month we had six) who vote on what they want to do someone always loses. Recently a couple of our kids got in a yelling match over thumb tacks...it was actually quite comical after everyone calmed down and apologized. God has been so good to us. AFter all this shifting around we also found out in June that we will be having another kid moving in only this one will be our own...I'M PREGNANT! Our first child is due February 2. We are so excited and yet have a healthy fear. We love the kids we have in our house but it has really shown us both the commitment and time it takes to care for them well. We have seen so many horrible situations with the kids we have that we feel a little more prepared. But, you can never be truly prepared for a child. We will be hearing the heartbeat for the first time on Monday and the ultrasound is scheduled for September 22. I can't wait to see our little one. I am so excited to begin this new chapter in our marriage. My stomach is starting to pop out and it is amazing to realize that in a few more weeks I'll be able to feel the little one moving around. Michael has been so amazing since we found out. He has allowed me time for naps and breaks. It has been amazing to see him protecting me and the new little one. The Lord is so good, I have had no prego symptoms other than exhaustion. I don't know how I would have been able to get through the last few months if I was dealing with morning sickness. I feel so blessed. We had decided to simply open ourselves up to the possibility of having kids and within the month I was pregnant. I was so concerned that it would take forever. I was very wrong. Michael's response was amazing...he just looked at the test and said, "what does this mean?" I told him I was pregnant and he just laughed and had a huge smile on his face for a couple of minutes. It is finally starting to really sink in that we will have a little one of our own.

Our New Ride...

We are rockin’ the Toyota Sienna. That's how we role. We were rocking the Ford Windstar but it decided to drop a transmission. It was a lemon. We just bought it and it fell apart on us. We do a lot of driving around here, in the first three or so months we put 7,000 miles on each of our vehicles. So we decided we needed to get a more quality vehicle. I never thought I would like a minivan but we have been enjoying this one.
In other news…It’s a boy! No we did not have a baby. We did get our first male foster kid…well…our first male foster kid that can say more than blibble blabble da da da. It has been a nice change for me. He's a good kid. He was actually in another foster home here when we first arrived back in January. He was one of the first kids we met and he helped us unpack. He was able to leave foster care for awhile but now he is back. It's unfortunate that he had to return but I am glad to have him in our house.
In our last blog I was a little rough on our girls. Please understand it was mostly in jest. Yes, it’s a little hard to be surrounded by girl drama all the time but the girls that we have are really amazing. It is awesome to see who they have become considering what they have come from. They are fighters.
We actually have six kids in total now. We are normally only supposed to have five but due to an on campus situation we ended up with another girl. It’s a very full house and adds an interesting dynamic but we have been having a lot of fun with our kids. Since it is now the summer we have been trying to think of interesting things to do. I got my North Carolina fishing license and an Ugly Stick fishing rod so we have been going on a couple late night fishing trips. So far we have only caught a couple of small ones but it has been a lot of fun. A couple nights ago we were out on the lake until after 3:00 am fishing. It's very peaceful. And last weekend we went to sliding rock. Here is a picture of me sliding down the rock.
Okay that's not really me. It was actually really busy the day we went. We had to wait for 20 minutes for a 30 second ride. It's kind of lame waiting in line for nature. We'll have to go back on a weekday.
We are heading back to Portland at the end of July/early August. We have our tickets all set and everything. Now that all the details are coming together we are getting more and more anxious to head home. We are working on lists of things to do and people to see.

From my backyard…

Okay this picture is not exactly from my backyard but it is pretty darn close. Recently, I have been so caught up in the day-to-day business of cleaning, cooking, appointments and playing taxi that I have not taken advantage of the abundant nature that is around me. Yesterday I was getting really restless and it appeared that my dog was feeling the same way and so I finally decided to get out of the house and go with U.B. for a hike. Right outside campus there is Old N.C 105, a gravel road that leads into the mountains. Off of 105 there are countless little trails that are perfect for hiking. This could be a major tourist attraction; luckily it is not, so the locals mostly get to enjoy it. The road itself is so rocky that it can cause major damage to your vehicle if you spend too much time driving it. We hiked up a trail that branched off to a couple of lookouts, one of which is pictured. The other one was is set up specifically to watch hawks. It was pretty amazing. I had been so stressed out by all the little annoyances of life but all that melted away as I took in the breathtaking view around me. U.B. was a great hiking partner as I had hoped he would be. He still has the puppy attention span, he has to sniff EVERYTHING, but he was up for jumping off of rocks and climbing hills and then just sitting with me as I enjoyed the view from the top.
I call myself a poser outdoorsman and a wannabe naturalist. I have always dreamed of spending more time out in nature and learning about it but have never spent near enough time actually doing it. We live in the perfect place to experience nature. There are the amazing mountains and trails but there is also plenty of nature right around our house to explore and learn about. We regularly see deer bounding around campus. I have never seen so many different types of bugs, spiders, etc. Last night we saw our first lightening bug. It was awesome. It’s little butt was like a bright green LED light.
There are plenty of bugs and animals around that are less desirable. The bees and wasps are plentiful and they are huge. They are almost the size of hummingbirds. They could head butt you and leave a bruise. There are plenty of ticks, earwigs, and pincher bugs that make there way into our house. Today one of our girl’s school bus ran over a rattlesnake. There are also cottonmouths and copperheads around. Occasionally a bear has made it onto campus (though not since we have been here).
So there are scary animals all around us, but there is an animal that is more vicious than all of these. She is the teenage girl. They mostly attack each other but just being around their savage nature is enough to leave you feeling wounded. On the rare occasion that I dare confront one of these dangerous beasts, say to tell her that she needs to cut the attitude, she usually turns on the waterworks and brings up her period. This is a low blow for which there is no counter attack. Of course the girls can be and often are amazing. We have been blessed by having them. But recently there have been some major issues and we have had a few major struggles with these lovely ladies.
A little while ago I went to the store and bought Jen a dozen roses. I have bought Jen roses several times and more times then not I have had a conversation with the female checker that goes something like this:
“Ah, roses. What are you in trouble for?”
“I’m not in trouble, I just love my wife.”
“Right. You know that deep down you are in trouble. Men are always in trouble. You did something wrong.”

After a conversation like this I almost feel like I should just give the roses to the bitter checker lady because she obviously needs something to change her views on men. But I shared this story to say that I was not buying roses for Jen because of something that I did wrong. I was buying them for her because of everything that she does right. She has been so amazing at dealing with the savage beast that is the teenage girl. I am often frustrated because there are many things that I simply cannot do because of my maleness so Jen is of course left with so much of the ugly work of working with the girls. I am excited about being here because of all the natural beauty that surrounds me but I am more excited to be here because I am here with my beautiful wife. I have been able to watch her grow and become stronger and stronger and I have been blessed by it deeply.

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk

Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk

One of our girls has said several times that she has to “educate” me on music. Of course she wants to educate me on genres of music that I have intentionally remained ignorant of. One shining jewel of an example is the above song by Trace Atkins. This song is one of the many gems that have been on rotation in our house as of late. Lord have mercy indeed. The girls always want to listen to either Country or Rap. I listen to some Country and some Rap but anyone who knows me could probably not see me enjoying listening to songs about “getting sweaty on the dance floor.” Get jiggy with it…or…something. Just a few months ago I felt that my musical tastes were relatively cutting edge. Now apparently they have been relegated into the category of “old man music.” It happened so fast. Oh well, I suppose I will have to carry on somehow. As I write the baby was able to crawl over to the CD player, pull himself up and turn down the volume on my music. EVERYBODY is a critic.

long time no blog

It has been a long time since our last post. I guess instead of reflecting on life we have been spending our time trying to simply survive. We have had a rough last few weeks. Today, we (along with our supervisors) had to make the choice to have one of our girls detained by the DJJ (Department of Juvenile Justice). She will probably eventually be hospitalized. It was hard to do but we felt very at peace with the decision. She simply needs more intensive care than we can provide at our facility. Her behaviors were extreme to say the least and we had to think of the welfare of the other kids in our care. We hope that she felt the love of God in our house during the few months that she was with us.
There have been several intense situations that we have found ourselves in since we have been here. We have felt very blessed by the support that we have here. Just when we are at our lowest someone is there to make us find the comedy in the situation or to give us just the advice or comfort that we need to make it through another day and feel replenished. Life here is very hard but there is no doubt in my mind that we are living life to it’s fullest. So much of our time is spent on building relationships. It leaves me in awe to think of the community we have found here.
There have been so many moments amidst the recent mess that have made us laugh. Considering the kids we serve they are kind of dirty though. Not really appropriate for blog posting. Ultimately today we feel that our house will finally be a place of peace again. We will not be consumed with damage control. Because of the recent changes we will be able to focus on building meaningful relationships with the kids we have which is why we are here. We don’t know how long we will have the current kids that are in our care. For all we know it is very possible that we could have a completely different house of kids in the next couple months. I have constantly been reminded of the reality of how little time we have to make an impact on these lives. Hopefully our next blog will follow after considerably less time than this one.